Had an interesting conversation with rubberfreak this weekend about how long we each last in bondage. He had just done this scene with Rocket, in which he was apparently in that position for a few hours, and was sore for it for several hours after. I look up to both of them a lot, and almost every scene of theirs I hear about is incredibly horny. But I feel like a wimp when I hear about what they put each other through, when rubberfreak says things like "Yeah I don't get much of a choice." Often enough I'm asking Sir to be let out of things from something falling asleep or from cramps starting to come up. A lot of the time I take it as a challenge to last as long as Sir wants, but thinking in this context it's easier to recall all the times I've 'wimped out.'
I think it's more healthy to think of it as a personal preference though, than in terms of who can take more pain, or who has more endurance. I've seen people getting turned on from the cramps they get in a straitjacket. For me though, when those shoulder cramps start setting in I tend to want out.
I also tend to have low blood flow issues, my limbs fall asleep easily and I'm prone to getting lightheaded. When I was a college swimmer my event was the 500 yard freestyle. I was a distance swimmer and I took great pride in my endurance, but even for all that I still had these weird blood pressure problems, so I'm not sure if there's anything to be done for it. Unfortunately as Sir can tell you, it can put a damper on play sometimes too.
It became an issue this weekend when we got to playing with suspension and in one instance I started feeling lightheaded. Sensory deprivation while suspended in a straitjacket has always been a fantasy of mine, unfortunately in another instance I only lasted about 40 minutes before the harness started being unbearable. It's something I wish I could power through but in this case it'd probably be dangerous to try.
As I've written on here before, pain is a weird thing. Most of the time I love predicament bondage, electro, cock and ball torture, and nipple torture. But it has to be in the right context. The really intense pain play has to be part of an ordeal journey. Predicaments for me can just as easily be miserable or incredibly horny. Sometimes you even need to power through the miserable bit to get to the horny bit. One week we did a stress position with heavy metal stocks and I lasted an hour, and the endorphin high afterward was incredible. The next time we tried it I was miserable after 15 minutes.
So cramps and the like from bondage can be in this weird gray area of deliberate pain, because of course bondage can lead to cramps, and accidental pain from straps pinching, limbs falling asleep, and so on. I've learned that there's always going to be people who are a lot more into this or that than I'll ever be, so I think it's much better to put it in terms of personal preference than who's the most hardcore. Some people really get off on the cramps and awkward positions, but for me I like my bondage cozy yet restrictive and my pain deliberate.
If could just get that new piece of gear... If I could just find a keyholder... If I could just find the right boy... I'd finally be happy!
Well, that's not really the whole story, is it?
That new piece of gear doesn't get you as hard as it used to, but ooh, there's that other toy over there! And now that I've been locked up for a few weeks I've become accustomed to it... Or those scenes with the perfect Sir aren't quite as amazing as our dynamic has slowly shifted...
So you keep shopping. Or you need to be constantly be re-negotiating with your play partners. But that's a good thing. Because you'll never be satisfied with having the same experience over and over again. You've got to get out there and do something new, and nothing else will make you feel good. You don't just get your happiness and be done with it, it's a never-ending adventure. And that's what makes it all so compelling.
I had a long post about jealousy typed up a few weeks ago but that's not really where I am right now. Honestly, the last few weeks with Sir have been pretty awesome. We've had some great scenes.
Everybody wants more scenes, or an amazing partner, or their friends to be less crazy, or--
Two steps any sub worth their salt should be familiar with. At any given time there are 30-40 opportunities to get what we want right in front of us. We're just too busy being upset that we don't have it yet to see them.