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Episode 226 – Mentors, the fresh maker

Description of Show

The guys spend the show discussing mentorship: being one and how to find one.

 Show Notes

  • What Now? 
  • In the News
  • Mentorship can be an explicit or an implicit relationship
    • There is always the explicit Sir/boy type of relationship
    • On the other hand, some mentors do not even realize they are mentors
  • Has mentorship, over time, gone down because of the Internet?
  • Mentorship does not have to be just “showing someone the ropes.” Mentors can also impart more advanced knowledge to those who are not beginners.
  • Being a mentor is not about acting like a superior person. Authenticity is extremely important, not putting on airs.
  • Seeking a mentor:
    • Carefully consider who your mentors will be.
    • As said before, it does not have to be an explicitly-stated thing. Just being around that person is sufficient. In other words, no awkward, formal request to a potential mentor is necessary.
  • What do you look for in a mentor? Send us a message at info@nosafeword.com and let us talk about it.

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Jock Holster Bone, just $89.95:

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Episode 225 – We are back!

Description of Show

We are back! To avoid pulling something (ahem) we are going to hear from our listeners and provide feedback.

 Show Notes

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Locking Waist Belt, just $139.95:

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Ungagged Episode 24 – The More the Merrier

Description of Show

The pups spend this show discussing group sex, group dynamics, and how to make your group experiences the best they can.

Show Notes

  • In the News
  • Group Sex
    • The pups start out small and talk about threesomes.
      • Are two-as-a-team strictly pleasuring the other the best way to have a threesome?
      • A common reason against any group sex: too much going on and too much concentration needed.
    • Play parties
      • The mood of each party can be very different…so keep your expectations reasonable.
      • With lots of other scenes going on around you, it can be a problem if you are easily distracted by sound.
      • There is always going to be a better chance of drama when more people are involved, so be ready and be calm.
      • If it is a party of 8 or more people, then be sure the party has a separate, more social space.
      • Reasonable expectations, but have some expectations and have a plan of how to make that happen.
      • How do you deal with the guy who won’t take no for an answer? Be direct. Try to be polite, but say it in no uncertain terms..

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature Saddle Soap.

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Episode 224 – Sir Yes Sir

This episode is a rebroadcast of Episode 99.

 

Being a gay kinky pup in the military can be a bit of a balancing act.  Thankfully, it is much less of an issue today than it has been in years past.  In this episode, we talk with three of our fellow kinksters who are or have served in the military: Pup Jimmy, who is currently on active duty as a reservist; Skuff Pup who was recently in the Marine Corps; and Daddy Tony, who served wayback in the Navy.  We talked about some of the differences in how gay men were treated in the military over the years and how Jimmy balances his work, gay, and kink lives while on active duty.  There’s some good stuff here you don’t want to miss!

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • Serving in the military
  • Differences in the treatment of gay men in different military generations
  • Kinky while on active duty
  • Fooling around in the service

About Our Guests

Pup Jimmy

Jimmy Basset is a young Soldier in the Army reserves, out to and accepted by his closest battle buddies.  His battle buddies often accuse him of being “you kinky fuck” but they have no idea of the specifics or just how right they are. He was recently adopted by pup Tank and welcomed into that family by Tank’s other beta, Ace. Still new to the wide world of kink and the Atlanta kink scene, he’s having the time of his life making new friends in the community and learning what really gets him going. Often seen at the Atlanta Eagle on gear nights, there is no telling what he’ll be wearing or who will be scritching him.

You can find Jimmy Basset on Facebook at BlueBeaglePup on Recon as madein88 or around Atlanta in person.

Skuff Pup

Skuff Pup is an Alpha, bottom boy, big brother, and sometimes handler, living in the greater Seattle area. A long time member of the kink community, he moved to the Pacific Northwest from Florida in 2009, though he is an Arkansas native. Skuff’s primary kink is ABDL and age play as well as a part of the furry community. He is the resident Queerbilly (just a country pup at heart), an Australian Shepherd to be exact, and can be seen herding up the strays in his boots and Wranglers. Skuff is a Staff Sergeant in the United States Marine Corps, active duty from 1996-2007, and is now retired from active duty, but with the right boy, the SNCO has been known to make an appearance. Skuff loves scritches, leather, rubber, bondage, gas mask play (instant boner for those!), snuggling, and chasing RC cars and is an avid outdoors/camping pup. He also contributes to the NoSafeWord show by running the tumblr page. He was sidelined from play for over a year because of a spinal injury/surgery, but is well on the mend and back in action! So shoot him a message, he won’t bite. Well, maybe just a little..
You can find Skuff on Twitter as @Skuffpup, on Facebook as Skuff.pup and of course, shoot him an email at Skuff@nosafeword.com

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Neoprene Gas Mask Hood.

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Episode 223 – Covering Recover Rebroadcast

This is a rebroadcast of Episode 51

 

Boy Josh is new to Seattle and has been on the road to recovery from past drug addictions that was a big part of his life as a part of early kink experiences. He is now on the road of recovery and was willing to share his story.

Drugs are a part of American life in general, and all of us have had to deal with drugs as a part of our kink life. Be it trying ourselves or knowing others who use or have used. And we all have different levels of what is acceptable and not when it comes to drugs being a part of play.

So having a honest, open communication about how drugs affected one person, in this case with Boy Josh, we get to explore what the impact of drugs can be to us all.

We thank Josh for talking with us about his very personal journey!

Show Notes

 In the News

 

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Episode 222 – Daddy Fucking Giggles Rebroadcast

This is a rebroadcast of Episode 37

 

Only because it is legal in Washington, Daddy Tony and Sparky decided to imbibe a certain cookie at the beginning of the show to see if we could make it through. We did… sorta. Barely.

If you want to understand the name of the show, listen to the end through the credits. A little extra for ya all.

We had a lot to cover as you can see from the show notes, and we had a great time doing it. Can’t wait for the next one!

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • Wacky tobacky cookies
  • While we were away, On the road for work
  • Sergio
  • Working late at night
  • Damien’s BBC
  • Northwest Puppy Contest
  • Atlanta Play Party
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Episode 221 – Tyesha and Hobbit, Part 2 Rebroadcast

This is a rebroadcast of Episode 29

After the great episode we had with Tyesha and Hobbit (see Part 1) we just had to continue on with the conversation in a part 2 episode. This one we decided to take up some topics regarding gender and gender identity.

The energy of this episode was amazing for both of us, having both a fun discussion but also really getting into some interesting discussions. We are very happy to have both of these awesome guests on the show!

Show Notes

Discussion Topics

  • Best in Show event recap
  • Discussions about Gender Identity
  • Gender Pronouns – She, He, Ze
  • “Tranny Bonus Hole”
  • Why is it ok to be irreverent and offensive

About Our Guests

Tyesha and Hobbit are two lovely ladies that lead open sexual lives. Hobbit is active in the Seattle Women of Leather and married a gay leather man (for the benefits). Tyesha is originally from Texas and writes for Leatherati. Find Tyesha on Twitter and Facebook.

 

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Episode 220 – Tyesha and Hobbit, Part 1 rebroadcast

This episode is a rebroadcast of Episode 28

We met up with Tyesha and Hobbit during the rehearsals of the recent Best in Show event put on by SEA-PAH. We had such a great time getting to know them that night that we had decided that they needed to be on the show! This was a wild time, where we cover a bit about who Hobbit and Tyesha are, and where they came from. We also chat about queer issues, titles, hoo-has, alpacas, and a variety of play.

We also spend some time talking about Mama Sandy Reinhardt, and the renowned Mama’s Family. You can find out more about her at mamasfamily.org. Hopefully we can get her on the show soon!

You are just going to have to hear this one to believe it!

Show Notes

In the News

About Our Guests

Tyesha and Hobbit are two lovely ladies that lead open sexual lives. Hobbit is active in the Seattle Women of Leather and married a gay leather man (for the benefits). Tyesha is originally from Texas and writes for Leatherati. Find Tyesha on Twitter and Facebook.

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Episode 219 – Spreading (the word about) STDs REBROADCAST

This episode is a rebroadcast of Episode 21.

 

Also, Daddy Tony has spent many years as a volunteer and as a professional peer educator in the San Francisco community. He comes armed with years of experience talking about STDs and HIV from all kinds of backgrounds, including gay and kinky communities, so having his voice as a part of the show is critical perfect and I know he was very happy to be able to provide this information.

We made reference to some resources that are out there, which we will post up later this week in a new post. And be sure to check the show notes section for a reference to a TEDx talk about a possible public health message regarding reducing the spread of STDs sent in by Fossil9 (Thanks much Fossil!).

Show Notes

In the News

Listener Letter

A listener sent in the following mail that prompted us to start preparing for this show. The mail was:

I love the show and have been looking for this kind of show for a long time, and look forward to every episode. Can you do a myth of STD’s or a STD tip that would be great. I am a social worker and would love to recommend your podcast to my “let’s talk sex” Group.

Discussion Topics

  • Resources
  • There is more than HIV
  • Prevention Tips
  • HIV
  • PREP
  • Window of exposure
  • “Clean”?
  • TEDx: Rule of Three Discussion

About Our Guest

Karen Dykes is a nurse practitioner that specializes in infectious diseases, STD’s, and HIV. She lives in Seattle.

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Episode 218 – You, Dear Listener

Description of Show

The guys will delve into the listener correspondence pile and give thoughtful, reasonable responses. :)

 Show Notes

  • What Now?
    • It has been one year since the attack on the Pulse club in Orlando.
  • In the News and Letters!

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Ribbed Silicone Anal Trainer Kit for $57.95.

 

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Episode 217 – Pawlish

Description of Show

The guys turn to the more sobering subject of safety – both personal safety and online safety.

 Show Notes

  • In the News
  • Our guest, Pawlish, is the 2017 International Mister Boot Black. He talks about his experience as an Asian man in the leather community.
  • What about race fetishization? It seems the “vanilla” (non-kink) community may be more guilty of that than kinksters.
  • It seems left versus right politics is unfortunately alive and well…within IML.
  • Find Pawlish on Facebook at #IMBB2017

 

About our Guest

Pawlish is passionate about learning and mentorship—fostered by his years at a particularly “fruity” company. After 18 moves across 3 continents, what he’s learned is to stay hungry, and IT for an SF startup fits that bill… for now. That hunger also persists when it comes to Leather & kink, where he loves discussing social impact and
challenging others’ perspectives. He’s found resonance with puppy play, bootblacking, and Sir/Daddy roles. You can find him wagging away while putting a shine to a boot, snacking on whatever he’s recently baked. Pawlish lives in Cincinnati with his husband, Bamm-Bamm.

 

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Unlined Leather Hood for $239.95.

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Ungagged Episode 23 – Before You Get Dirty…

Description of Show

You have to get it clean before you get dirty. The pups spend this show talking about care of your gear, no matter if it is fabric, leather, rubber, or your skin.

Show Notes

  • In the News
  • Cleaning Your Fabrics
    • Sheets can be an issue during intense anal play…so look to buying white towels in bulk.
    • Know your solvents.
      • Water of course is a classic, but water and salt is good for many fabric stains.
      • Diluted vinegar or lemon juice is also a great, but gentle solvent.
      • You can move up to diluted hydrogen peroxide or even bleach for the toughest stains.
    • Clean a stain from the other direction. Go behind the stain to get the staining agent out quickly.
  • Cleaning Your Leather
    • Stains can either be on the sealed top-layer, or could go into the hide underneath.
    • Top-layer stains in leather can be removed with saddle soap. Get it wet and use a very soft bristle brush to get the stain out, then use a sponge.
    • Sometimes leather can get over-conditioned, where the dye of the leather comes off on your clothes or skin. Using pure alcohol can help to strip off some of the excess oil-based conditioner.
    • Alternatively, you can buy a leather deglazer to strip off extra conditioner as well. You can then re-condition after stripping with saddle soap.
    • Sometimes you lose color in leather gear. Mr-S recommends Lincoln Quality dyes.
    • Bootblacks at leather events are wonderful resources for expert advice on your leather gear.
    • Acrylic or wax sealants can also be great to protect leather in wet situations.
  • Cleaning Your Rubber
    • Simple is best. Go to water, or water with a drop of dishwashing detergent.
  • Cleaning Your Skin
    • How about your butt? Lubes in your butt can be hard to clean. Wipe it off from the edge of your hole outward.
    • Use a saline solution in a spray bottle for mild cleaning of your junk.
    • For super-messy lubes on the hands, powdered soap (like Borax) can be applied to instantly remove lube.

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature Saddle Soap.

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Episode 216 – Safety Dance

Description of Show

The guys turn to the more sobering subject of safety – both personal safety and online safety.

 Show Notes

  • What Now? It is still Trump. Keep up the pressure, and be patient.
  • In the News
  • Safety. Even in the “liberal” neighborhoods, violence does happen.
  • Do the common-sense things for personal safety: Walk in well-lit areas, walk with other friends, and be simply aware of your surroundings (and put up your cell phone) as you walk.
  • Also if you are on-foot and being followed by a car: change to the opposite direction immediately. That will buy you some time to get out of the situation.
  • Flight, not fight: Always choose running away. Only resort to fighting if there is no escape from it.
  • Be the loudest fighter: Scream…shout…attract attention as much as possible.
  • Be an efficient fighter: Go for a kick to the kneecaps first. Hard to defend against and can be an effective attack to affect their mobility, which gives you a better chance to get away.
  • Other high-percentage areas to attack: the eyes, ears, and nose.
  • A good chest area to aim for is where the rib cage meets the sternum/breastbone. Hitting that area will likely knock the wind out of them.
  • What about guns for personal protection? Research shows that guns are only effective against attacks where you see them over 20 feet away. Also, if they are more than 20 feet away, you are safer running away versus shooting.
  • Another effective attack is to grab them by the collar, push back and pull them toward you as hard as you can. Can be very disorientating, and would give you more time to run away.
  • Use the weapons you have: your keys, a whistle, even a small metal baton.
  • Learn self-defense: Aikito, Karate, Krav Maga, and even boxing and mixed-martial arts.
  • Practice online safety: Keep your kink life separate by having different Facebook profiles for your private and public lives.
  • You do not publish your address or phone number for anyone to look at.
  • Also tend to communicate with well-established profiles with lots of online friends, even common friends.
  • Do not reveal your workplace and/or its location to anyone. Describe your job in generic terms.
  • Having face pics is an effort to show trust to others that they talk to. A person not having face pics and refuses to share them should be a big, red flag.

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Show Tail Black, just $49.95:

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Episode 213 – Savage on Consent

Description of Show

Dan Savage returns to the podcast as a guest, and we talk about consent.

 Show Notes

  • What Now? Dan presents it this week, and mentions three organizations that really could use our donations: ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and the International Refugee Assistance Project.
  • In the News: Sadly, stealthing is the newest, dangerous sex trend…for straight people.
  • We receive a letter asking for advice from Dan about a violation of consent from a prominent member of their local kink community.
  • The discussion moves into consent in general.
    • Having “the talk” before going in. A too-long talk can make the scene less passionate.
    • How you give “the talk.” It can be given in a reassuring, positive, and inclusive way.
    • Practice makes perfect…with the same person. You will read each other more readily without having to vocalize things, and trust between the two grows with each new experience with each other.
    • Consent given during a sexual experience that was previously out-of-bounds…not to be taken lightly.
    • Straight folks new to kink may be at a slight disadvantage compared to the gay male community…since gay men tend to first ask “what are you into?” since there is not one activity assumed to be part of gay sex.
    • Sometimes, consent given even well-before a scene could still be a negative time, but the consolation prize is that the person who gave the consent learned what they did not like.
    • Finally, if you are on the extreme side of kink activities, maybe an e-mail or text exchange stating what is consented to is a good idea.

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Padded Scream Mitts:

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About Our Guest

Dan Savage is a sex advice columnist, activist, author, and podcaster from Seattle. Listen to his podcast The Savage Lovecast and read his writing on The Stranger at The Savage Love and SLOG.

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