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Episode 11 – Knotty Brent

Hey all, been looking forward to sharing this episode for a while now! We had on rope bondage enthusiast KnottyBrent, who is the Mr Powerhouse Leather 2012 and the current Northern California Leather Sir 2013.

He was up to be a judge for the Seattle Leather Daddy and Daddy’s boy contest, held in October of 2012. Here at NoSafeWord we have been recording episodes for a while now, putting those shows in the can while we worked out a few things on the website development side. These canned episodes then are held in reserve until there is  week when we can’t record a new show (like this week, Sparky is on the road).

It was a great discussion to learn more about Brent and where he came from, his recent foray into titles and getting into kink, and finding his talent for rope!

Plus we start off the show talking about Daddy Tony’s and Mikey’s hosting of the contest that night as well, which ended up being a great time to watch them in action (not that kind of action, I mean hosting action, jeez!)

This was a fun show and a great time getting to know Brent, so I am very pleased to bring this show to you now!

 

Show Notes

Discussion Topics

  •  Heading to kink because of the finding out he was HIV
  • Always have been into bondage – true for other people. For him, it was the discovery very late in the system
  • Did some work professionally in bondage
  • Served as Mr PowerHouse Leather 2012

About Our GuestKnotty Brent

Knotty Brent has been tying up boys since 2010. While relatively new to kink and BDSM, Brent brings energy, irreverence and detailed knot work to the table.

His style combines shibari knots and techniques learned at SF Ring with decorative touches borrowed from traditional marlinspike seamanship. Brent regularly performs for BEATPIG every 3rd Saturday night at Powerhouse and has performed at the Edge, Chaps II and The Eagle in SF. He has also performed at The Bolt in Sacramento and IML 2011 for COLT Studios, for whom he does rope bondage work for the studio’s new brand, Bound Jocks. Fetish artist Nancy Peach recently opened a show at Wicked Grounds where two of her paintings feature his ropework.

Brent is honored to have recently won the title of Northern California LeatherSIR 2013 and will spend the year not only uniting Sacramento and the Bay Area but also going to smaller towns and bringing the San Francisco kink scene to them.

Find Brent on Facebook, Twitter, and Recon.

 

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Episode 10 – Pup Nitro

This was a fun one! We had such a great time chatting with Pup Nitro from Atlanta. And thanks to the pup for staying up late to be on the show! We spend some time talk about Nitro and his work in the leather community. You have to check this one out, and looking forward to talking with him some more in the future!

 

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • Where did you come from? Getting into kink
  • What is your family dynamic?
  • Community Building and why should you get involved.
  • Community Building Vs. Community Destruction
  • Just because someone’s a sub doesn’t mean they don’t have a voice.

About Our Guest

Bryson “Pup Nitro” Hankinson, International Leatherboy 2011, was born and raised South Carolina. In 2006, he moved to Atlanta where he met Sir Alan Penrod and began to discover his Leather Heart. Nearly a year later he earned his collar and was given his pup name, “NITRO” (Needs Intense Torture to Reach Orgasm).

Nitro is currently a Full Member of Panther Leather/Levi Club, and is a Co-Founder of the Hotlanta Rubber and Gear Club. He is the co-producer of the Mr. and Ms. Atlanta Eagle contest, and co-owner of Southeast Black and Blue, LLC. Nitro teaches BDSM and Leather Lifestyle classes on a variety of topics and enjoys any play involving tight bondage, mummification, rubber/latex, electricity, CBT, and watersports. He also serves as a mentor to other boys, helping them find their voice within our beautifully diverse leather community.

Find Nitro on Facebook and Twitter.

 

 

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Episode 09 – TJ and Brett

For this episode we are going to introduce you all to our friends TJ and Brett! They are local kinksters that just came together very recently. We talk about what it is like to start a relationship with the dynamics they have, like being two kinksters with similar and different kinks, dealing with age difference and everything in between. This is just the start, we want to bring these two boys back to talk even more about kinky relationships.

We’re getting to know every kinkster one story at a time!

 

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • How long into kink
  • What you are into
  • New couple
  • Age Difference

 

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Episode 08 – Larry Talks Fisting, Part 2

Hey all, we just had Part 1 not too long ago of this show, and we wanted to follow up with Part 2 right away to finish out the show. We are going to get even “deeper” into the subject of fisting with Larry! We want to talk technique and supplies and everything you need to know to get started.

Daddy Tony and Sparky both had a long with with long hours on the road for work, and flew back to town just hours before recording this show, so we are more than a little punchy, but was still a good time.

Enjoy!

 

Show Notes

Discussion Topics

  • Misconceptions
  • How to get started into it
  • Fisting vs. Handballing

About Our Guest

Larry has been a member of the kink and fetish communities for more than fifteen years. During that time, he served as President of the Steering Committee for Leathermen’s Discussion Group for three years, as Chair for the planning committee for Leather Levi Weekends 2007 and 2008, as well as serving as a member of the Advisory Council for Leather Leadership Conference XII, (San Francisco 2008).

In 2007, 2008 and 2009, he organized and coordinated the BDSM demonstration area at Leather Alley during SF’s Pride Festival following the Pride Parade. He has also done numerous public demonstrations on a wide array of play for the Stop AIDS Project, SF Citadel, The Society of Janus, Leather Levi Weekend, Leathermens’ Discussion Group, the Ring, ACLC, Sacramento Valley Leather Corps, Leather Leadership Conference, and the SF Leather Daddies, among others. He is now focusing his efforts on strengthening and enhancing the fisting community in SF.

In 2008, Larry began organizing weekend fisting retreats, known as Spring FFling. In September 2008, Larry brought a public fisting venue back to the SF sex scene for the first time since the closure of The Sling. Known as Hell Hole, this monthly play party, which focuses on safer-sex and drug-free play, has been widely and well-received by men not only in San Francisco, but from across the US and around the world. Larry began doing programs on fisting in 2005, and has been a frequent presenter on that topic.

In furtherance of his desire for educating others, in January 2010, the Handball Academy was born. The purpose of the Academy is to provide an educational setting where novices, the curious and those wishing to further hone and develop their fisting skills can come together in an informal setting among their peers to learn, share and grow. The Academy sponsors Novice Workshops, a 5 hour hands-in experience, and quarterly panel discussions, and hopes to implement a weekend Academy in the near future.

In June 2010, his booklet, “The Sacred Art of Fisting,” an outline of play, practice, and safer-sex techniques, was published thanks to a grant from the Stop AIDS Project. That booklet is now undergoing revision and its second edition is scheduled for publication in 2013 in both print and Kindle formats. In 2011, Larry and his partner Loy, began producing Fist Fest in Palm Springs, and in 2012, they brought the Fist Fest weekend to Augusta, GA for its East Coast debut.

Follow Larry on Facebook.

 

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Episode 07 – Larry Talks Fisting, Part 1

Daddy Tony invites over a friend of many years, Larry Shockey, to talk about fisting. Larry has been a long time fister, hosting many play parties in his home city of San Francisco and also leading work shops to teach people all they need to know about getting started in visiting.

We had so many questions and wanted to get so “deep” into the subject, we actually recorded a two part episode in one night. In the first part we learn a bit about Larry himself and how we got started in the scene. Coming up in part 2 we will get into some of the mechanics of fistings, such as good lubes, how to clean out and much more.

Daddy Tony and Sparky were pretty punchy in this show, having just came home from a long work trip, but damn if we didn’t have a good time. Lots of boys in the audience, lots of bondage going on, and a lot of fun all around!

 

Show Notes

Discussion Topics

  • New Orleans for Daddy and Sparky
  • Flight back for Daddy and Sparky
  • Larry Shockey Interview
  • What is he involved in now
  • How did he get into fisting
  • Got fisted by a woman

About Our Guest

Larry has been a member of the kink and fetish communities for more than fifteen years. During that time, he served as President of the Steering Committee for Leathermen’s Discussion Group for three years, as Chair for the planning committee for Leather Levi Weekends 2007 and 2008, as well as serving as a member of the Advisory Council for Leather Leadership Conference XII, (San Francisco 2008).

In 2007, 2008 and 2009, he organized and coordinated the BDSM demonstration area at Leather Alley during SF’s Pride Festival following the Pride Parade. He has also done numerous public demonstrations on a wide array of play for the Stop AIDS Project, SF Citadel, The Society of Janus, Leather Levi Weekend, Leathermens’ Discussion Group, the Ring, ACLC, Sacramento Valley Leather Corps, Leather Leadership Conference, and the SF Leather Daddies, among others. He is now focusing his efforts on strengthening and enhancing the fisting community in SF.

In 2008, Larry began organizing weekend fisting retreats, known as Spring FFling. In September 2008, Larry brought a public fisting venue back to the SF sex scene for the first time since the closure of The Sling. Known as Hell Hole, this monthly play party, which focuses on safer-sex and drug-free play, has been widely and well-received by men not only in San Francisco, but from across the US and around the world. Larry began doing programs on fisting in 2005, and has been a frequent presenter on that topic.

In furtherance of his desire for educating others, in January 2010, the Handball Academy was born. The purpose of the Academy is to provide an educational setting where novices, the curious and those wishing to further hone and develop their fisting skills can come together in an informal setting among their peers to learn, share and grow. The Academy sponsors Novice Workshops, a 5 hour hands-in experience, and quarterly panel discussions, and hopes to implement a weekend Academy in the near future.

In June 2010, his booklet, “The Sacred Art of Fisting,” an outline of play, practice, and safer-sex techniques, was published thanks to a grant from the Stop AIDS Project. That booklet is now undergoing revision and its second edition is scheduled for publication in 2013 in both print and Kindle formats. In 2011, Larry and his partner Loy, began producing Fist Fest in Palm Springs, and in 2012, they brought the Fist Fest weekend to Augusta, GA for its East Coast debut.

Follow Larry on Facebook.

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Episode 06 – Neil and Erotic Hypnosis

This week we get to spend some time with Neil, a New York based hypno therapist. He talks to us all about the ways in which erotic hypnosis works, what it is, and what it isn’t. We talk about the time Sparky was under several post-hypnotic suggestions during a leather event.

Hypno is a subject that people either are very into, just curious or highly skeptical, and our goal was to introduce the subject to everyone. We are looking forward to having further discussions with Neil to delve any deeper.

We are also putting out the call for any questions you may have about hypnosis; send them in and we will do a future show with Neil and read your question on the air!

 

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • Erotic-hypno.com
  • What is hypno, what isn’t it?
  • Personal stories
  • Why hypno?
  • The headspace, mindspace

About Our Guest

Neil has been doing hypnosis since 2001, at first as a hobby (and tool of sexual exploration) and since 2009, as a full-time job. Practicing hypnosis lead him to discover his dominant side and explore the BDSM world. Neil lives in New York City. Find him on TwitterRecon, and his blog The Erotic Hypnotist.

 

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Episode 05 – Bouncer, Mr. West Coast Rubber

This week we talk with the newly sashed Mr. West Coast Rubber, Bouncer Pup. He tells us all about his start and the wild ride he has had since he started in kink just a short while ago. We have a great time getting to know him more and what he is getting into, pressing limits and running for the new rubber title!

It was wonderful getting to know him more, hope you enjoy it as well!

 

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • How he got into kink and his time within the kink community thus far
  • Being kinky in Sacremento
  • Pushing Limits and how pushing my limits has shaped me as a kinkster
  • My WCR trip/contest weekend and what winning a title and being a title holder was and has been like

About Our Guest

I’m Bouncer Pup and I’m your regional rubber title holder for the west coast, not to mention a playful puppy dog who likes to chase things, bark at squirrels and kitties and have fun! What I’m all about is spreading rubber fun and kinky sexual expression to the masses; both the uninitiated and those already in our community who enjoy having fun in and out of the playroom!

I love meeting new people and making new friends and as the west coast titleholder for 2013 I hope to have fun putting on events and engaging fellow kinksters within and without the region.  Also, as a member of the Rubber Men of San Francisco I love helping to put on events with the club that draw in pervs from outside our region and bring new people into the world of rubber kink.  We have upcoming events usually each month that you can check out on our website: www.rmsf.org

2013 is already off to an incredible start and looks like it’ll be a year full of amazing experiences! I look forward to sharing in all that I can with the rest of you guys!

See ya around at these following events:  Mr. New England Rubber Contest 2013, IML 2013, Dore Alley in SF and Folsom Street Fair SF just to name a few!  Not to mention other trips taken throughout the year, Woof!

Find Bouncer on Facebook, Twitter, Recon, and Fetlife!

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Episode 04 – Rub One Out at Rubbout!

In this latest podcast, Daddy Tony and Sparky talk with Reid, also known as RubberCanuck, the main organizer of Rubbout, an annual rubber kink event in Vancouver.

Rubbout is a Vancouver, BC grass-roots organization that has organized a party weekend since 1991. We are staffed entirely by unpaid volunteers who do it purely for the love of rubber. The event will be held on April 12th to the 14th, with a lot of fun activities, including a rubber bar night, gear swap & silent auction, a puppy play party, a rubber play party, and a rubber brunch.

We talk with Reid about the event, all that is going on at the event, where it started and how it has grown. Enjoy!

 

Show Notes

Discussion Topics

  •  Jinx Monsoon in Hedwig and the Angry Inch
  • Rubout
  • Puppy contest
  • Evolution of where he got into rubber
  • Psychological nature of kink
  • Emergence of the west coast events
  • Puppy contests

About Our Guest

Reid (aka Rubber Canuck) is an avid rubberman and the lead producer of the Rubbout Fetish Weekend held annually in Vancouver, BC, now in its 22nd year. He is the former Mr. West Coast Rubber 2010 and Mr. Rubber Calgary 2008. Reid enjoys doing workshops and demonstrations of rubber and bondage gear in the Pacific Northwest, and has done so in Vancouver, Seattle, and Portland over the past few years for various groups and events. He has been writing the Rubber Canuck blog since 2006 and has been an active member of Vancouver Men in Leather since 2008. He lives with his partner Paul and is also active with the gay running, swimming and cycling groups in Vancouver. Follow him on Twitter, or his blog.

 

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Episode 03 – I’m Not Laughing

In this episode, we take a moment to respond to an email we received from one of the co-founders of the Bareback Brotherhood, talking about the parody interview we did with “gollum”. Apparently he didn’t care for our brand of humor and took the time to tell us we got it all wrong.

Then proceeds to never mention how or why we are wrong.

Throwing out all kinds of weird accusations and hyperbole, from “Condom Nazis” to claiming we are adding to his “death threats”, he focuses only on the reaction and never the substance.

So, we respond the only way we know how… record it!

 

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Episode 02 – SEA-PAH (bow rorr rorr)

For Episode 2, we decided to talk to some local puppies that have organized the Seattle Pups & Handlers Association (SEA-PAH), a local group that is working towards creating a place for those into human puppy play.

From their own flyer, they say of themselves:

The Seattle Pups and Handlers Association is a group that is devoted to the human-pup, and those that love them. This is a place for pups, handlers and people curious about pup play in the Pacific Northwest and beyond. We are a group in the Seattle area that has been created to educate people about what pup play is, as well as have a family of friends where they can be comfortable about this fun type of play.

 

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • Who are these pups, how did they get into puppy play?
  • What is puppy play?
  • Gear, Headspace, Role Play
  • What they do & why they do it

About Our Guests

The Seattle Pups and Handlers Association (SEA-PAH, or on Facebook) is a group that is devoted to the human-pup, and those that love them. They create a place for pups, handlers and people curious about puppy play in the Pacific Northwest and beyond. They have been created to educate people about what pup play is, as well as have a family of friends where they can be comfortable about this fun type of play. Nate and Pup Gadget are pups, and are in a committed relationship to each other for over 3 years. They have been working hard to help establish SEA-PAH for their fellow puppy play friends throughout the region.

Find Nate on Facebook or Recon. Find Gadget also on Facebook or Recon.

 

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Goodbye Jason, we lost more than just the MIR

Earlier this week the gay community was rocked by the news of the passing of Jason Lynch, the current Mister International Rubber. Those of us here at NoSafeWord extend our heartfelt condolences to his partner and his family as they deal with this heart wrenching loss. We also want to extend our hearts and support to all those throughout the community who are dealing with this loss.

Over the course of the last ten years I have experienced the loss of those close to me, and those whom I have just started to get to know (as I was with Jason, having exchanged messages with him in the last several months and I am sad I won’t continue to get to know him). In each of those past loses, one overriding commonality between each is that they were wonderful individuals who loss was felt by many.

Last night I was chatting with a fellow rubberman who was particularly hit by this loss, both because of the love and respect he had come to have for Jason, and I suspect likely because this is the first such death of a fellow kinkster. The sadness he was feeling was overwhelming and deep, and I certainly don’t fault him for that.

When someone has such a loss it is difficult to find any words that can help make anyone feels better. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t possible to at least try.

Jason has become know within our community as someone who embodied many of the qualities we should strive to live up to. Full of life and enjoying it. Caring to his brethren. A committed and loving husband. Willing to step forward to take on the responsibility of first a regional title, and then a national title. Respected and admired by many throughout our community. Having the courage to take the small steps necessary to making this community better, one person at a time.

Each and everyone of us that has felt this loss, be it me, or the person I was chatting with last night, or anyone else reading these words, each of us can only hope to live up to that memory and try in our own ways to try to live up to those same ideals that Jason was just starting to represent as the MIR. Maybe each and everyone one us can each continue his work as MIR.

Maybe that is how we will turn this tragic loss into a legacy.

Rest in peace, Jason.

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Episode 01 – Starting It All

Episode 1 of the NoSafeWord Podcast is now live, and we couldn’t be more excited to begin this show to share with you all. We are so looking forward to having conversations with all the kinksters out there, from the most green newbie to the elders of our community, and everyone in between. We want to talk with everyone who is a part of this tribe. It is by sharing our experiences with each other that we can learn and grow. We have already started recording shows for weeks now, and have some exciting interviews that you are going to love!

In this episode we focus on introducing you to our hosts, Daddy Tony and Sparky, as well as the rest of the crew of NoSafeWord. And a special interview for our first episode you just have to hear to believe!

Stay tuned for more from NoSafeWord!

 

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

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MAL Hypno – The Final Installment

This post is part 1 of 3 in the series MAL - Hypno Bondage.

 

 

 

So, there is a final piece to the Hypno story that I haven’t shared yet. My willingness to write up play sessions lately has been a little diminished due to a hectic schedule, but this particular encounter is stuck in my mind as something I want to finish.

In the previous writings about MAL I talked about the hypno I had with Neil  but there was one part of the story that I have been looking forward to share, and I have been coordinating putting the words together with the boy involved.

Rugbylthr and I ended up at a friend’s house after MAL was over, this now two days after the Saturday described in the other posts. He and I met briefly on a different trip, though he was at the time with a Daddy friend of ours from Virginia, and since then my partner had met up with him, but this weekend was the first time I really got to know him.

He has this great look about him that I love. He comes off almost innocent yet experienced , strong and vulnerable. The kind of guy that can express two sides of the same coin with what appears to be little efforts. But then he gives that sidelong glance that is the window to the little devil inside.

I like that devil!

So he arrives on this night after MAL is over, heading on his way back up north to home, but stopping to see everyone again before getting on the road. Once he finds a spot to settle in, on the floor near a chair I slide myself over near him, and start to give him a back rub, and him rubbing my legs in return. All the while chatting with others, sharing jokes between us, laughing, touching, tumbling to the floor for cuddling and, well, dare I say, heavy petting (as a pup, I have always loved that phrase).

Now, in the previous stories I talked to you about the hypno and how it felt, including the effects of the “Orgasm” suggestion. Neil only had to grip my wrist and I would feel this wave of orgasms flood over my body, over and over. Had I been in the right mind to count, the count must have been in the mid double digits at least. But by the end of the night it was deminishing, and by the next day all that remained when Neil would grab my wrist was just kind of a tingle, or an echo of a tingle is a better way to put it.

And mind you, through it all, grabbing my wrist didn’t work for anyone else to give me an orgasm, just Neil. That is what made what happened next so surprising.

I was trying to draw out this playful part on the floor for as long as I thought I could, but there was too many people around for my liking, so we headed on up to the guest room. At this point, I am going to share what the boy wrote:

Between the legs of a sexy Daddy bear, I first laid my eyes on Sparky. It was the Sunday of MAL 2008 and the previous night I’d been brought by the bear to his friend’s house. The following morning, I found myself sitting on the floor between his legs, meeting a cadre of other men staying in the house, including Sparky and Dvous1. I was immediately attracted to both of them, but surrounded by this cadre of new and kinky faces, I could barely form words. Let alone say the words, “I’m into you.”

Three years later, I found myself sitting in the same room, now surrounded by a cadre of good friends and between Sparky’s legs. It was the Monday of MAL and we were all sharing our excitements and exploits. Rubbing Sparky’s legs and he rubbing my shoulders, I lamented to myself that I hadn’t made it clear to Sparky that I am into him. I had only stopped at the house to say goodbye.

With his hands on my shoulders, my will to leave melted and I melted into the comforting space between his calves. My hands moved up to his hamstrings and knees. I turned around to rub his quadriceps. Sparky laid down on the floor of the living room. I mashed my palms into his lats, traps and deltoids while perched on his ass. Sparky suggested we continue upstairs as conversation had continued around us.

Now shirtless and straddling his body, I massaged his front, pectorals and abdominals. Kissing deeply, tongues tangling and unraveling, continuing down the jaw line, supple neck, tender bites and soft growls. Tongue drawn down his body, lapping each pink nipple and meandering his torso. Gently holding his arms down while my tongue traced patterns along his body, up his neck and into deep kisses. Each time down his body moving slightly further south, rubbing his legs, pulling his jeans slightly to lick the space between his torso and legs. Slipping his jeans off, watching his bulge twitch, pulling his boxers aside, my tongue playing music in the groove between his legs and groin. Periodically, returning to kiss, lick and bite each other’s mouths, lips and necks.

To keep him from squirming, I held his arms and continued to lick his body. Down his stomach, up his side. Tickling, lapping, growling, grinding. Gripping his wrists tighter. Moaning, moaning and then jerking taut.

I was so far into feeling the erotic nature of Rugbylthr using his mouth to bite, lick, scratch pull, suck, all different parts of me, and the feeling of completely in the moment and without thought, I was in a trance like state. Truthfully I can’t tell you how long we were at it; for me it seemed like hours, and most of my head was just in this spot of thinking of nothing but what this hot boy was doing to me.

So here I am, moaning, writhing, cursing and touching him all over, and everything around me was just in a far away spot of my perception, when suddenly there was this snap back to reality.

That same feeling that I had associated to Neil, whenever he could grab my wrist, this intense mental orgasm came back with a vengence, just like when I was at level ten on the horny scale and he would do the same thing to me on the floor of MAL. I am in that moment aware that this boy has me by that same wrist, in the same firmness. It was just like waking up in the middle o f the night to the sound of a car crash outside; first delirium, then a sudden rush of WTF, and finally realization about what was happening.

A little freaked I told him what I thought was happening (though I didn’t know was possible). This is where the devil shows up. He just goes at it again. Grabbing my wrist, biting and licking and holding me down as I go through another wave of mental orgasm.

Piqued, he told me to stop and offered explanation that I may have tapped into a hypnotic suggestion. He explained his encounter on Saturday with Neil. Intrigued and incensed, we continued our row. His legs now on either of my shoulders, I held his hips and worked his groove, making him squirm. Holding him tighter, I followed the line up his body, working the tender spot above his femoral artery.

Then, I pounced. I tightened my grip on his arms and firmly mouthed his inner wrist – an impassioned kiss out of a vampiric dream. When he tried to pull away, not so much a kiss as a gnaw. Trapped under my body, but free to squirm. Moans growing, hips bucking, while I just grinned, took a breath and looked at his eyes and face. He sighed and his muscles relaxed in a sigh.

I pounced again. Waves of moaning, writhing, and torquing, but I held fast to his wrist, less concerned about holding him down. I came up for air as I heard someone in the hall. In our haste, we’d not closed the door.

I pounced a third time. I could see the figure peering into the room in my periphery. Too fascinated and engrossed, I didn’t look up to identify the figure. I only know I was holding Sparky’s wrist with both hands now, as he yelled pleasures and obscenities. I couldn’t help but continue my assault. I was no longer holding his body down, only his arm in order to maintain the control and pleasure. He writhed and jerked and shivered – the continued shivers of heavy orgasm. I released him and laid next to him. We kissed.

DVous1 came up a few minutes later when “we stopped hearing screaming in the living room and figured you were done.” Sparky and I just looked at each other and laughed.

Near as I can tell, this boy used his passion of the moment to put me in a trance like state, which brought back up the suggestions that were there from the other night. To do so I had to be in a moment of pure relaxation, feeling safe and secure and in the moment, without distraction.

Those who know me, they will tell you I am wound tight, so for me to let him in like that, well… it doesn’t happen often. That makes this moment, well, something special, just as he is a special boy.

Coming up, he will be one of our roommates at IML.

Can’t wait!

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Safety – Research Your Top

From time to time, you will notice people will indicate in their profile something along the lines of, “I only add friends to my buddy list if I met you in person.” Now to some extent this comes from not wanting to get a bunch of people in the friends list you don’t know (excluding those that gather profile buddies to show off, of course).

But there is also another reason that many do so: we all have a common understanding that to some way or another we are “vouching” for that person in our buddy lists.

Take for example my own profile on Recon as an example (here). Nearly every one of the people on there are people that I have played with or know very well. There are a couple I may not have played with yet, but I added them because I checked their references.

Each time I am approached by someone to play, I check their friends list on whichever of the profile sites I am on. I am looking for anyone I know that I can check in with, see what they say. And everyone on my buddy list I am comfortable with giving a recommendation about me (or not, if I pissed you off, LOL).

This natural network has developed over the last few years has become a resource for players and newbies alike, and I know I am not alone in keeping the idea of a buddy list “sacred” for this very reason.

I realize there are hot guys you may want to play with that don’t have a lot of buddies. This system I describe isn’t meant to replace researching a top before you let him tie your ass up. You need to find out who you submit your freedom to.

But, it is a good start.

Ask around before you play. Check their experience, make sure if they are going to put a bag over your head they know what they are doing. Before they try to fry your ass with electro, ask others if the experience with that top is worth it.

In the long run, it makes for the best scenes, anyway.

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