About Sparky

Author Archive | Sparky

Finding a Puppy Name

I have been thinking about the process of deciding on a pup name for a while. I find it a fascinating subject because it wasn’t a struggle I had. I am Sparky, and I was Sparky before I even knew what pup play was. I was first named Sparky by my boss on the farm I worked on in college because I would drive the grain truck over the fresh cut fields. The axle on a grain truck can give of a single spark that can turn a wheat field into a roaring blaze in a matter of minutes, so I would hear “SLOW IT DOWN SPARKY” on the CB at least once a day.

The name stuck with the crew, but I didn’t use it elsewhere until a couple years later. I had moved to Seattle and my new roommate, out of the blue, called me Sparky. I stopped short and said, “Why did you call me that?” He didn’t know anything about the farm story, so it was shocking when he said that he just thought the name fit. A couple of weeks later it happened again with another friend, out of the blue and with someone not knowing the story of the other two times. The universe was trying to tell me something.

It wasn’t until nearly 6 years later that I even heard of puppy play. I didn’t have a name or framework for what I was feeling until then. There was Sean, who was responsible and serious, often times focused on a single goal with determination. And then there was Sparky, who was playful and bouncy, unpredictable and sometimes just wild. Looking back I felt like there was two sides to my personality for many years, and when Stompie (owner of Pupzone) first introduced me to the idea of puppy play it all suddenly made sense.

I figured out who Sparky was.

My name came easy to me. It resonated for me. For others, sometimes it doesn’t and it is hard to land on a puppy name. It is important to find one, however, because so much of who you are and how people start building a frame work of you as a puppy starts from that name. You may say, “I don’t like labels!”, sure, but sorry kids that is how the brain is wired. Once we have a label we start filling that label with attributes and associations that build a picture of who someone is. It isn’t perfect, but it’s what we got.

After talking with numerous pups out there about their naming experience I have found there are usually four blocks that inhibit a boy from settling on his puppy name.

Embarrassment – This is an easy discussion to have with a puppy whenever they think they have a name but won’t settle down with it because they are embarrassed for some reason. Maybe the name is too stylized, too gregarious, too sexual. It could be used too much (had a few contact me asking for permission to use my name – hint: I don’t own it!). Most of the time I tell them to just let go. If it makes their puppy side jump for joy, then go for it. If you want to be known as Pup Dildo, then Pup Dildo it is!

Overanalyze – This can be a toughie, as some pups will think about this name versus that name, do cost-benefit analysis charts, conduct surveys and focus group different names. I do love these kinds of pups, because they are so analytical that when you get them into true pup headspace they are the most joyful because of the contrast to their daily lives. For them, I tell them this: For years when I was a kid I played the violin. Tuning the strings is very important, and one of the first things you learn. It was the only thing about a violin I did well because I got from the beginning what the instructor was trying to tell us. Other kids would analyze the process, try to listen, develop patterns that dialed in the strings quickly, but I was always faster at it. I was often asked by the others to tune their strings for them before a concert. The part I figured out was just to listen for the string to resonate. When the string is just right it will vibrate in a way that causes you to feel “right”, the air around the strings and the neck of the instrument vibrate just “right”.  For pups that are analyzing their name, I tell them, pluck the string and see if it resonates, if it stirs an emotion of happiness and pride then you are there, you have found your name. Leave analyzing for work time and other non-pup boring crap.

Waiting for a Sir – As a pup that found my name before I heard of pups, let alone handlers, I am obviously not an advocate of waiting until you find a Sir or Handler to have them name you. There is a pup name in you that is waiting to come out, and a Handler that is worth their salt is only going to help get it out, not come up with something they just like. If the name is inside you then you can be the one to pull it out. Usually these pups, the ones that are saving themselves for a Sir before a name, are not really asking for advice for naming but rather validation for doing so. To them I just ask if they are still happy while they are waiting. Most are not, and the distress of not having a name is causing more harm than good. The answer is then easy. I usually tell these pups they have one week to settle on a name. GET TO IT! Worked so far with anyone I have had to be forceful with.

Mental block – Now here is a classic problem that has an answer. Everyone assumes that to be creative all you have to do is let inspiration do all the work and it will just come to you. The truth is that is the hardest way, and often the least successful. Those that make a living being creative do so using processes. Here is my favorite. Take a sheet of paper and just free form words about yourself or puppy play that you like (not necessarily names, just descriptive words). Write them at different angles and in different ways, use different pens. Don’t follow the lines. Set that sheet aside and on a new one, write down the alphabet from the top down. To the right of each letter do the same thing, write words about you or puppy play that are descriptive and that you like, that start with each letter. A words first, then B words, and so on. You can use words from the previous sheet, but don’t look at it. When done select the words that resonated with you. By now you should at least have some good words that you have liked from this process. Pick your favorite and  create a mind-map. To do this, put the word in the center of a new sheet, then think of names (labels, objects, nouns, whatever) that go with that word. Draw a line from the center of your selected word out and write one of your associated names or nouns out from it. The next name/noun you come up with can either be connected to the original, or the new one. Keep branching out as much as you need to. This works best if sheet ends up a mess, with lots and lots of branches. By now, some names will have percolated to the top, if not one single one, that you are starting to fall in love with. If you are, you can stop as that is your name, or keep going. Take a name from the mind map that is a likely candidate and write down all the attributes about that name. Is it strong. Fierce. Playful. Fun. Timid. Shy. Write them all down, then circle the ones that describe you. If not many, it isn’t the name for you. If you circle them all, that is your name. Repeat this process for other names from your mind map until you land on just the perfect name.

Finding a puppy name should be a fun process and it always saddens me when it stresses a boy out. Let it be fun. Let it be a self-discovery process and open yourself up to possibility. Being a puppy is a chance to be our ideal selves, so chasing after that in a way that is painful or distressing is only going to take you farther from your goal.

Good luck pups, can’t wait to hear your new name!

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Episode 59 – Pervertables Part 2

For this episode we finish up our discussion about Pervertables, cover a lot more than we did the last time. This was a fun one to make!

Remember, you can always email us with your stories of how you have made your own pervetables. Can’t wait to hear what you come up with!

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Fist Mitts with D-Rings!

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Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Episode 58 – Pervertables Part 1

For this show we decided to do something a little bit different. We wanted to talk with the two kinksters that we personally know that love playing with all kinds of “pervertables”, so we invited on Sparky’s Sir, VisibleRestraint, and DrewLion.

For those that haven’t heard the term before, pervertables are items that were not intended to be perverted but can be purposed in all kinds of kink play. The thought here was that by discussing all the different kinds of pertables and share some stories on how they can be used, we can spur some ideas out there for our listeners.

We want to hear from you and your stories of pervertables. Tell us about any we missed, or fun stories about the pervertables that you have used. Can’t wait to hear what you come up with!

This along with listener letters and this was a great show!

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Hump Gear Butt Plug, a Mr. S Leather Exclusive!

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Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Shorts 07 – Venus

For this show we have on the makers of the Venus 2000 milking machine. We wanted to know more about this history of this product, since it has been around for a while, and diverse communities that make up the customer base. Both Dave and Bunny from the company were great to get to know and very open about their process.

This was a great episode and we learned a lot about them, so we are very much looking forward to bring this one to you!

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Stainless Steel Chastity Cock Cage, a Mr. S Leather Exclusive!

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Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Follow up to the Poppers Episode

Hey there all! We recently did a show about poppers that I think was a lot of fun to talk about. And one of our listeners sent in some information that I thought was helpful for all you guys out there that are curious about play with poppers can could benefit from some additional info.

If you didn’t listen to the show, you can check it out here! Shorts 04 – Poppers

Thanks to dijkstra for sending this in!

Just listened to your poppers episode. As someone who has used poppers for many years, taught a number of boys about poppers, and even reviews them (http://dijkstra0.tumblr.com/tagged/popper-review) I thought your episode was spot on. Well done. You covered a lot of good information on their history, use, and safety.

Given my inclination for education and safety I thought I pass along a few safety rules I use myself and teach others regarding poppers. Hopefully this can be useful to you or your audience.

  • Never open a bottle with lube on your hands. Always wipe your hands off first, its too easy to drop an open bottom if your hands are slippery.
  • Never give poppers directly from the bottle to a bottom/sub who’s head is laying down. Again it is too easy to spill if the bottle is tilted to one side.
  • Instead, use a small square of toilet paper soaked with poppers to give to a bottom/sub who is laying down. Using TP over cotton balls has a big advantage. Besides eliminating the possibility of spilling, once you are done you can toss the TP in the toilet so it doesn’t linger (and smell) in your trashcan.
  • When giving poppers to a sub, give the poppers to the sub first, then sniff yourself. As a dom you want to be in control at all times. If you sniff first then let the sub sniff, you risk loosing some of that control due to getting high yourself.
  • When introducing poppers to a boy, start slow, and use a brand of poppers that is smooth or a bottle that has been open a day or two. Start the boy off with one sniff. If he likes, then give him two, always go at his pace.
  • If a boy doesn’t like poppers, respect his limits. They are not for everyone.

Once again I hope these safety tips can be of some use. I’ve really enjoyed listening to your podcast. One of the things I have discovered by listening to your podcast is my own desire to be more involved in the community. Keep up the good work and I hope to see and meet you at MAL.

Thanks,

Erik (dijkstra)

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Shorts 06 – Things-that-are-similar Game

Ok, I feel like we have done more than enough in “borrowing” a game show format, so in the text I am just going to call it “Things that are similar Game”. You will get it when you listen to it.

This show was recorded back during the same night as the episode of Daddy Tony’s birthday! (Episode 53, listne to it at http://nosafeword.com/posts/episode-x-2/ )

That night we decided to do a little fun time because we had everyone there, so this show is just us playing the game, but as you will hear it was a damn good time!

We were lucky to have Mama Tits for this episode, along with a lot of our friends playing along. Enjoy!

 

About Our Guest

Seattle’s Skyscraper Hostess, the One and Only Mama Tits is the creation of Brian Daniel Peters. You may recognize her as the former Host of LeFaux at Julia’s on Broadway from 2010-2011 or as one of the hosts of the Seattle Pride Parade for the past 4 years alongside Sylvia O’Stayformore at the 4th and Bell stage. Mama Tits was one of the hosts of the 2010 Pride-fest Main stage at Seattle Center, she was the Original Hostess of the hottest weekday club night on Capitol Hill, ElektroPoP! from 2011-2012, and the Original hostess of the Capitol Hill Talent Show. Mama is also the Producer and Star of “Mimosas with Mama”, Seattle’s #1 and Longest running weekly Drag Brunch, and works various private events around the Seattle area and across the country. Find her at twitter.com/TheMamaTits or facebook.com/TheMamaTits.

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Stainless Steel Chastity Cock Cage, a Mr. S Leather Exclusive!

CB310_1a

 

Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Shorts 05 – Vince Andrews

For this episode in our Shorts Series, we interview the author Vince Andrews about his two books he has published, the Leather Boy Handbook and To Walk with Strangers. Both are unique and interesting books from two completely different ends of the spectrum of kink books.

We talk with Vince to get to know him a little better, as well as to explore what is both the books, his motivations for writing them and where he drew his characters from. This was an interesting episode that we hope you enjoy!

Show Notes

Discussion Topics

www.adynatonpublishing.com

The leather boy handbook

https://www.facebook.com/TheLeatherboyHandbook
To Walk with Strangers

https://www.facebook.com/groups/374041089363154/

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Stainless Steel Chastity Cock Cage, a Mr. S Leather Exclusive!

CB310_1a

 

Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Episode 57 – Leland

This is the week of hearing from the female kinkster perspective, and this week we have Leland, who is the Co-Editor-in-Chief of Leatherati and we discuss with her the many other ways she supports the kink/leather community.

We wanted to talk to her because she is so close to the kink community and this was a great way to hear a female point of view. We think that our sisters can give us value lessons on how to approach kink, both in the ways that we are similar and the ways that we are unique.

This ended up being a great conversation and had a lot of fun

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • Editor of Leatherati
  • Moving to Portland from San Francisco
  • Community organizing
  • Judging contests
  • Portland organizations
  • Her relationship with boi

About Our Guest

You can find out more about Leland and what she is all about by going to http://lelandcarina.com/updates/leather-community-resume/. You can also find her on Leatherati!  http://www.leatherati.com/.

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Stainless Steel Chastity Cock Cage, a Mr. S Leather Exclusive!

CB310_1a

 

Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

venus2

 

 

 

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Episode 56 – It’s a Pug

Puppy play is all the rage nowadays, with all the boys flocking to get their mitts on the latest hoods and tails. With all the fury of all that is going on, sometimes we forget that some of our kink sisters are puppies as well.

When I think of female pups, I always think of Pug. I have known her for years, having been introduced by some mutual friends. If you know her, you know Pug is someone that takes care of her friends and fellow pups, and just a delightful personal all around.

We thought that it would be a great way to bring up the topic of female pups by inviting her on the show and talking about who she is, where she comes from and where her kinks come from.

It was a great discussion and I am so glad she joined us on the show!

 

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  •  Who is Pug
  • Being a female pup in the pup community
  • Her being a part of a gay leather family
  • LA Boys of Leather
  • Southern California Leather Gathering

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. Check out their new product, the Electro Paddle! Can’t wait to get one of these!

kit

 

Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Episode 55 – Loki on the Law

While most of the time BDSM play is all find and safe, there are some pitfalls you can run into with the law from time to time. To help prevent those times, or to help protect yourself in case they do, we decided to do a show all about the law. We asked on our friend Loki, who is an attorney and has done workshops on these very issues at kink related events in the past.

We cover a wide variety of topics, all the way from consent and domestic violence, to kidnapping scenes and copyright of your personal porn images. It ended up being a very interesting discussion (that was also enhanced by Drewlion tied to the table in the background with a Venus 2000 milker hooked on).

 

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • Can’t consent to crimes against the person like assault
  • Always keep prescriptions in their bottle, especially narcotics
  • Domestic violence calls
    • Visible Bruises may result in call long after scene
  • Kidnap scenes
    • Probable cause to search
    • Safety
  • Cops
    • Comply
    • Be polite
    • Repeat “do not consent” to search
    • Party etiquette
    • Keep toys in locked bag in car
    • Lock car if you get out
  • Therapists / Attorney privilege
    • Privileged unless risk of serious harm to self or others
  • Ncsf
  • Pictures and recordings
  • Porn, tumblr, copyrights

About Our Guest

Loki is a friend of our from Atlanta, and someone we adore. We are so happy he was able to join us for this show. He is both an Alpha Pup and Handler. He is also the Director of the Atlanta Dominion play party, which you can find out more about by going to http://atlantadominion.com/

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. Check out their new product, the Electro Paddle! Can’t wait to get one of these!

R204-24

 

 

 

 

 

 

Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Episode 54 – Metalbond

For this show we have on Metal from the www.metalbondnyc.com blog! For those that follow all the kink blogs out there, this is a primary site you should be following. The site is full of pics and stories that you are going to love.

We got to know Metal himself and more about his kinks, and why it is that he does the blog. He put together some words about himself so you can get to know him better:

As they may have mentioned, I met Daddy Tony and Mikey when I visited the Serious Male Bondage Institute in SF a few years back.

My primary sexual interest is in inescapable bondage, especially locking metal. I’ve spent many happy, long weekends locked up (out-of-town) in jail cells, straitjackets, sleepsacks and rubber gear. I also host others for play in my tiny walkup apartment in Manhattan. I have drawers, closets and shelves full of leather restraints, ropes, handcuffs, shackles, chains and padlocks — and I even have a steel puppy cage under my loft bed.

I have been wired this way for as long as I can remember. Sexually, I am way more interested in bondage with a guy than in fucking. Always have been and probably always will be. I played tie-up games with neighborhood friends as a kid back in Michigan. The first time I ever ejaculated was after I had restrained myself in my bedroom with belts and realized I could not get out. I sent away for my first pair of handcuffs through a mail order catalog and later kept them hidden in my dorm room at college. Now I have more handcuffs than I know what to do with.

One of the first things I did when I moved to New York City in 1992 was go to the New York Bondage Club, where I was tied up by Bob Wingate and James Bond on my first night there. Later I joined GMSMA (Gay Male SM Activists), a NYC-based organization dedicated to promoting safe, sane and consensual sm. I was editor of NewsLink, the GMSMA newsletter, for six years and served on its board of directors. (GMSMA closed down in 2009.)

Also as part of my “kink resume,” I competed as a bootblack at IML, way back in 1998 and 1999, and was first runner-up both years.

I started up the Metalbond website about five years ago. The reason? I realized I had so many pictures and stories on my hard drive, that I felt it would be a shame not to share it with others. So I set up the site, and vowed to keep updating it regularly. At least once a day, sometimes two or three times a day.

 Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  •  The MetalbondNYC.com website, and why he started it
  • How long has Metal been into kink
  • The rant about the difference between clips versus locks
  • His past experiences with Bob Wingate and James Bond
  • Does running a blog get you more action

About Our Guest

Be sure to check out Metal Bonds website by going to www.metalbondnyc.com

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. Check out their new product, the Electro Paddle! Can’t wait to get one of these!

EM2172-300

 

Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

venus

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Shorts 04 – Poppers

A listener sent in a question that we decided to address in this Shorts episode. Here is what they sent:

I actually have a questions about the episode (referring to Episode 51 – Covering Recovery). Where do poppers fall into the discussion of drugs during play (in your opinion)?

So, we take this on with the research that we were able to find to discuss the use of poppers. It ended up being a great discussion that we tackle this topic from several different angles.

Enjoy!

 

Show Notes

About Our Guest

DT Tony and DT Bri are kinksters from the U.K., living in Chester, U.K., near Manchester and Liverpool. They are into BDSM, CP, face fucking, BC, gloves, oral, anal, CBT, TT, milking, dildos, electro, gags, leather, rubber, and so much more. It was fun getting to know them! Find them at recon.com/doubletop.

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. Check out their new product, the Electro Paddle! Can’t wait to get one of these! http://www.mr-s-leather.com/EM2172.html#video

EM2172-300

 

Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

venus

 

 

 

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Episode 53 – Turning 50 is a Drag

It is Daddy Tony’s Birthday! And he’s 50! He can kick! And Stretch! And KICK!

We decided one fun way we could celebrate his birthday was to have party for the show recording, so we invited a bunch of our friends and turn it into a fun night! Thank you to everyone that joined.

The other way we decided to bring over a friend of the show, Seattle’s own Mama Tits. Two of the most visible and organized sub-groups of the gay community are the leather/kink crowd and the drag queens. Yet there are times when the line between these two is very clearly drawn, even though we all are working towards the same time goal! So we decided to take some time to talk with Mama Tits to talk about the relationship between our two communities.

Even if you are not into drag or drag queens yourself, this is a chance to learn more about our sisters and where they are coming from.

This was a wild one and we hope you enjoy!

Donation Program

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Show Notes

In the News

  1. Guy wrecks his apartment after having sex with a gay demon
  2. World plagued by horrible fish sex sound
  3. 15 lies about sex “we” have all told
  4. Guy cuts off his own penis then forgets it

Discussion Topics

  •  Relationship of kink and drag
  • “Clown Fuckers”
  • “Drag” lets us come out of our shell
  • Growing up in rural America
  • Proudly being who you are in the world
  • Is drag a fetish?

About Our Guest

Seattle’s Skyscraper Hostess, the One and Only Mama Tits is the creation of Brian Daniel Peters. You may recognize her as the former Host of LeFaux at Julia’s on Broadway from 2010-2011 or as one of the hosts of the Seattle Pride Parade for the past 4 years alongside Sylvia O’Stayformore at the 4th and Bell stage. Mama Tits was one of the hosts of the 2010 Pride-fest Main stage at Seattle Center, she was the Original Hostess of the hottest weekday club night on Capitol Hill, ElektroPoP! from 2011-2012, and the Original hostess of the Capitol Hill Talent Show. Mama is also the Producer and Star of “Mimosas with Mama”, Seattle’s #1 and Longest running weekly Drag Brunch, and works various private events around the Seattle area and across the country. Find her at twitter.com/TheMamaTits or facebook.com/TheMamaTits.

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. Check out their new product, the Electro Paddle! Can’t wait to get one of these!

EM2172-300

 

Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

venus

 

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Shorts 03 – Organizing a Puppy Group

For this show, we are joined by the president of Seattle Pups and Handlers (SEA-PAH), Matthew! The group has been going through the process of establishing all of the details it takes to be an organization. The board is meeting soon to discuss what comes next for the group.

It’s always interesting to check-in with groups when they are at this stage to see what is involved with taking the group up to that next level. It takes a lot of work to set up an organization to thrive for years to come. Litters of pups to come will be grateful!

 

Show Notes

Discussion Topics

  •  The “Julie the Cruise Director Story”
  • We get to know Matthew here is a bit
  • The structure of the puppy group
  • The types of events they put on
  • Their upcoming board retreat and why they are organizing

About Our Guest

Matthew is the president of Seattle Pups and Handlers (SEA-PAH), one of the upstart puppy groups taking root throughout the Northwest and the rest of the US. Check out their website for more information about  their group. Find Matthew at recon.com/ILove1stClass.

 

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather.

 

 

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