The topic of today’s post is one near and dear to my heart: Bonds. Only this time, they’re not the ropey ones you might expect that often begin with lube and end with a splat or two in several directions. No, this time, the bond is an emotional one, and it’s the one I share with my handler, Kevin.
Many pups seek a handler not really knowing who they are as a group, or even knowing many of them as individuals. I can tell you that from my experience, they’re just as diverse as puppies, and when the right handler meets the right pup, their dynamic together can be as powerful as any I’ve ever seen. Now, not all puppies and handlers get into our frisky little fetish the same way, and my handler and I are a great example of that. So, let me just say how glad I am that my Daddy and handler, Kevin, has agreed to contribute to the blog and share his own perspective.
First off, let me ask you about how you got into puppy play…
Well, as you know, we came at it from very different perspectives originally. My first experience of puppy play was attending a puppy night just by accident in Amsterdam while on vacation. It was lots of heavy industrial music interrupted by “How Much is That Doggie In the Window?” Guys in tails and hoods and not much else, lifting their legs on each other and doing dog tricks in competition. I just thought it was otherworldly. My husband was instantly turned off and remains so to this day.
But about a year later, I was in a bar here in town and this cute guy comes up to me and says, “Woof.” Since that’s a common expression in the bear community, I thought nothing of it, and I said, “Hi.” Instead of responding, he put his head between my pecs and nuzzled me, looking up into my eyes. “Woof,” he said again. And then he just pulled away and wandered off into the crowd. That was when I really got intrigued as to what puppy play was. Before, I thought like a lot of people do, that it was a sort of surrogate beastiality, where guys were fucking guys pretending to be animals because it was too gross or illegal to actually do it.
And then you found me.
We found each other, that’s true. I did some reading and was very attracted to the idea of nurturing and mentoring, and puppy play seemed to offer that. But you found me through being part of the kink community — and a certain number of the people in that world do puppy play simply for fun and as a sexual fantasy and release, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But I came at puppy play to be able to express love and be a caretaking mentor. As you’ve often heard me joke, “Some guys say their cocks are hardwired to their nipples; mine is hardwired to my heart.”
And that’s led to some bumps in the road for us.
True. But that’s also one of the reasons we’re still together almost a year later. I know that for some arrangements, a pair will get together and set up all their rules of engagement before they ever begin and try not to deviate from those protocols. But I was more about finding the right pup for me, and then having our bond evolve to follow the trajectory of our growth.
Speaking of which, how do you think a pair keeps their bond solid and moving in the right direction?
Well, for me, I like having the constant things, those reminders of who you are to each other. And they’re like little creature comfort things. We like to nuzzle and watch “Sherlock” or “Walking Dead,” as well as suit up for the local monthly Fetish Night at the bar or do those things that puppies and handlers will do when the lights are low (smiling). But, we’d never been to an actual cinema together until recently because for some strange reason, they insist you wear clothes. Turns out and we both had a blast going to see “Frozen” — not just because it was a great movie, but because it was something new to share. So I like having a combination of the dependable things we do regularly and each of us contributing suggestions of new adventures to come. For example, we just attended a competition, where we got to meet other pups and their handlers and watch how their dynamics are both similar and different from our own. From some, we got ideas of things we’d like to try in and out of the bedroom, and from others, we saw just how much drama there is when the rules are too rigid, too vague, or just too poorly communicated.
And with that, there are so many more questions to ask, and rest assured each will be answered. Next week we will continue to ask hard-hitting questions that reflect on what handler do and how they handle situations with pups. Got a question only a handler can answer? Well leave a comment below and we will have Kevin back next week to answer any inquiries. As always, be safe and keep wagging!