Over the course of the last several months, as I get more and more followers to the blog (thank you to you all, BTW, I appreciate you all!) I have received several questions regarding the name of the blog.
No Safe Word
The question is always along the line of; I am assume you don’t use safe words when you play.
First, the name I chose was meant to have a dual meaning regarding the blog itself. There is no safe words here, nothing but my own truth that can at times be sharp and jagged. I don’t intend this blog to be entirely safe for everyone as it may challenge, push or prod from time to time.
But let me say, I don’t tend to use a safe word when I play, not because I don’t believe in the ability of the sub to use them, but because I don’t believe that as a Dom I need to have them. It is more of a ritual that gives the sub some form of comfort, but they may not necessarily need comfort to reach the right headspace for the scene.
There have only been a couple of times when something has become so intense that I have had to resort to a “safe word” both in scenes where none was established, yet I was able to communicate to the top that something was wrong.
When I play with a sub, I don’t use the safe word as I, the Dom, listen to the boy and the reactions, adjust when need to. And I find myself when I sub not wanting to use them with Dom’s because if I felt I needed one I don’t particularly think the Dom is in tune with me and therefore I don’t need to play with them.
When I started playing as a Dom, I used them and I am glad I did. And I encourage others to as well until you can read your subs and feel confident that you are in control of the scene. But at this point in my life, as a Dom or a sub, I don’t need them any longer.
That is one way to grow in your kink.