So, I recently spent some time pontificating on the leather community and what it means to me as someone who is a regular player in the kink world. I wanted to see if anyone else felt as I did about what the “Leather Community” means to us, so I reached out to 20 people that I have know for a while to ask them if they wanted to write something about what it means to them.
The problem is that every single one of them said the same thing. The leather community in their respective regions means nothing to them and they have nothing to write about. There isn’t even a resentment or strong negative feels, just an overall antipathy and really couldn’t muster anything else to add.
And these are true players and well known people in the kink world, and the leather community who prop themselves up as leaders are supposed to be representing. They have said they the true players, they are out there having classes on how to perform the kinks properly, and holding the events that everyone goes to but ignore the official functions of. Yet the people I have come to know and respect want to have nothing to do with the “leather community”.
For myself, I wanted to try. I had joined the leather community in the local area hoping for mentorship or leadership, someone to show me the way, but it turned into something really challenging. I felt like I got burned, and not because of why in that community may think is the reason.
I had always hoped for someone to come over to say, “Hey, here is a little direction, let me show you the way,” in the same sort of way I have heard others get. They talk about their leather . But instead I walked away because I didn’t know how to ask for that, and no longer being young enough to attract it, or never having been pretty enough to demand it, I don’t expect I ever will find that sort of leadership for myself. But I do know it was never offered to me. Instead it just turned ugly.
I have recently tried to reach out in my own way, to work on developing my own direction on what it means to have a leather family. For now I will feel my own way out for it, as that is the only real option for now.
For myself, I am tired of hearing the gossip, and hearing that despite the fact that I distanced myself and kept to myself after pulling back from the leather community, people still are talking shit about me. I only ever wanted to help, and have regretted it ever since I did.
I know there are others out there that have felt as I have. I know they hoped to find something there and disappointed that it wasn’t what they thought it was going to be. I hope one day this leather community learns how to reach out and hold onto those that are eager and need direction, to live up to the potential of their words when they adorn themselves with the mantle of leaderhsip.
Because right now they are missing out on a very dynamic world, a world full of the best and most talented players I have luckily come to call friends.