Tag Archives | Kink Events

Episode 136 – IML Survival Guide

In just a few short weeks, we will make the annual pilgrimage to the leather mecca in the midwest. For those of us who may be virgins, we bring you the survival guide for the International Mr. Leather contest weekend. Along with all of the usual frivolity that only the NoSafeWord Show can bring you!

Show Notes

In the News

Topics

  • Parties
    • Gear Blast
    • San Francisco Party
    • Onyx Party
    • Woof Camp
    • BLUF Party
    • Chicago Hellfire Club
    • Chicago Rubbermen
  • IML Events
    • Opening Ceremonies
    • Pecs & Personalities
    • Contest itself
    • IML Victory
    • Black & Blue
  • Making Plans to play
    • Don’t schedule too much
    • Don’t schedule too little
    • Don’t get your nose bent out of shape, for anything
  • Don’t get too drunk and make a mess of yourself
  • If you want to play with someone, tell him. Don’t hint.
  • But take it well if they say no
  • “Next Best” radar syndrome
  • If you are going there with a partner set expectations ahead of time
    • Good rule… we can fuck at home
  • You are not going to get it all in this trip
  • Never turn your nose up at someone else’s fetish
  • Gear
    • What to bring, what not to bring
    • How to pack
    • TSA Travel Restrictions
    • Handkerchief to the door handle

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Four Buckle Hand Restraints.

sl054

Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Episode 81 – GearBlast (Repost)

There are a lot of guys out there who are really into gear. Leather, rubber, uniforms, sports gear, gas masks, lycra, hazmat gear, and all kinds of other things (including, apparently, bath robes). Rocket is one of the biggest gear heads we know, and he is one of the organizers of GearBlast, He tells us all about the event, which happens during IML. We also talk about the differences between the leather and gear cultures.

This year’s GearBlast will be Friday night, May 23, 2014, during IML weekend in Chicago from 10 PM to 2 AM. You can check out all of the information at the GearBlast web site.

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • What is GearBlast?
  • When is it?
  • Where did it come from?
  • Who all goes?
  • What do you hope it will become?
  • Gear culture vs. Leather culture

About Our Guest

Rocket (aka scubaccs/rubcovr) is a kinkster living in Chicago and has been in the “scene” since 2003. He has enjoyed gear for as long as he can remember. He likes pretty much all kinds of gear, like rubber, leather, sports gear, lycra, dive gear, and hazmat gear. He also likes to use his gear for its intended purpose, and goes on scuba dives, rides sports bikes, plays hockey, skis, and other things. In 2005 he realized that there seemed to be no parties or ways for guys in gear to actually meet in real life as a group, so he decided to figure out how to arrange such a party. In order for this to happen, he decided to piggyback on an already-established event. Thus came GearBlast at MAL in 2006 at the Green Lantern. Now it’s one of the official events of IML.

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Butt Hole Rippled Fuckplug by Oxballs.

D048 210x300 Episode 81   GearBlast

Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Episode 81 – GearBlast

There are a lot of guys out there who are really into gear. Leather, rubber, uniforms, sports gear, gas masks, lycra, hazmat gear, and all kinds of other things (including, apparently, bath robes). Rocket is one of the biggest gear heads we know, and he is one of the organizers of GearBlast. He tells us all about the event, which happens during IML. We also talk about the differences between the leather and gear cultures.

This year’s GearBlast will be Friday night, May 23, 2014, during IML weekend in Chicago from 10 PM to 2 AM. You can check out all of the information at the GearBlast web site.

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • What is GearBlast?
  • When is it?
  • Where did it come from?
  • Who all goes?
  • What do you hope it will become?
  • Gear culture vs Leather culture

About Our Guest

Rocket (aka. scubaccs/rubcovr) is a kinkster living in Chicago has been in the “scene” since 2003. He has enjoyed gear for as long as he can remember. He likes pretty much all kinds of gear, like rubber, leather, sports gear, lycra, dive gear, and hazmat gear.  He also likes to use his gear for its intended purpose, and goes on scuba dives, rides sport bikes, plays hockey, skis, and other things. In 2005 he realized that there seemed to be no parties or ways for guys in gear to actually meet in real life as a group, so he decided to figure out how to arrange such a party. In order for this to happen, he decided to piggyback on an already established event. Thus came GearBlast at MAL in 2006 at the Green Lantern. Now it’s one of the official events of IML.

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Butt Hole Rippled Fuckplug by Oxballs.

Butt Hole Fuckplug

Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Episode 35 – Listener Letter

In this episode, we had a lot going on! First and foremost, we talked about a letter that was sent in to the show from listener BearPaul. We had actually written about the letter back in a post on the blog, How to Get Over Fear, but on the show we talked about it in a bit more depth than on the blog.

Additionally:

  • This was Brett’s first show, but he was tied up and gagged! (Why did we stop doing that??)
  • We talked about self image, feeling safe and facing fears
  • And also, stories about our trip to the Mid-Atlantic Leather contest!

You’ve got to check out this show!

Read full story · Comments { 1 }

Episode 33 – Phil’s Flank Steak

For this episode, which was the second one we ever recorded, we had on our friend Phil from Philadelphia, otherwise known as Rugbylthr! He was in town visiting family and we hadn’t seen him in a while, so what more perfect timing could we have in order to talk a friend into letting us ask all about his kinks!

We take the time with him to discuss what it is like to be a volunteer for Mid-Atlantic Leather weekend (MAL) and being a part of the leather club scene on the east coast. He also shares the hilarious story that involves Flank Steak. A LOT of flank steak!

This has been an episode that we have been looking forward to posting ever since we recorded it!

 

Show Notes

Discussion Topics

  • Family and having to have separate social media accounts – don’t have them
  • East coast leather club culture
  • Consider the work a local club needs to do to put on an event
  • Education endeavors
    • BDSM and You, Widener University – Chester PA
    • Kinky Carnival – for 7 years
    • Bazaar on Quince – leather street fair

About Our Guest

Phil is a thick rugby player, beer drinker, and leather guy from Philadelphia.  He loves to roughhouse and leads an active social life on the East coast. Phil is also currently the event coordinator for Bazaar on Quince which is Philadelphia’s first leather and fetish block party, every October. Find him on Facebook and Recon.

Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Big Kink Event Tips for Newbies

After having gone to so many IMLs it feels weird to be on my second year in a row of not going, and going to miss the opportunity to see so many of the great people I know across the country that I just don’t get to see often enough.

But I know a lot of people are heading to IML next weekend for their first big event, and I am excited for them to start having some fun experiences like I got to have. Since I can’t be there to experience it with them, I figured I would share what I have learned from going to the events in the past that have help me make each one better and better for me. As follows are some kink event tips for all those newbies looking to experience this for the first time.

 

Introduce yourself, no safer place. There is no better place than a big event like IML to just let your freak fly, be yourself, and introducing yourself to people. If they aren’t interested, you can tell and move on. If they think you are a potential buddy, they will hang for a bit. If they want to fuck, you’ll know pretty quickly. But you are not going to be able to figure any of that out if you don’t go over and introduce yourself to that person you are interested in. If they don’t bite, there are PLENTY other fish in the sea.

Don’t bring baggage. Or at least the negative kind. Do bring baggage of gear. If you arrive with an ax to grind or a pissy attitude, then you are going to likely leave with it too. I have seen people do that, and truly I don’t get it. Why waste your time, energy and money on someplace you are just going to actively try to not have a good time at. Personally, I try to avoid the pisspot attitudes like the plague.

Let things go. Short of unwanted physical harm or murder, there is nothing so awful that could be done to you that you need to let it ruin your trip. NOTHING. I have got upset about some slight, a flakey trick, argument, or being rudely dismissed, and I have always regretted letting it get the best of me. Whatever it is that creates negative energy, let it go until after the event. Likely find you won’t care anymore by that time has passed, and if so, then how important could it be.

Put the energy you want back into the event. If you want to meet new people and make friends, don’t expect those people to just come to you and introduce yourself, you have to do it first. If you want to go sex crazed and have a good time partying as much as possible, then start setting up the scenes and not wait for the invite to the orgy. I have been in the circle of great guys all wanting the same thing but standing in the lobby wishing they were doing something else and waiting for it to happen. I been those guys. The last few events, I have chosen to be an instigator. And instigators get invited to interesting happens as well. If every one tried to be an instigator, the lobby of the hotel would be a lot less packed, I believe.

Each year is different. In each of the years I have gone they were all very different. A lot has to do with the kinksters that I have had as roomies, as they tend to influence the experiences you get to be a part of. But also I have had different goals each time. This is the year I am going to find the perfect hood in the mart. This is the year I am going to not be shy. This is the year I am going to see how many loads I can get out of tied up boys. This is the year I am just going to relax and go with the flow. The first few times I went I didn’t set my sights on a target and I got disappointed. Once I started setting my goal for the event I always walked away satisfied with how it all went because I made sure it happened.

Can’t get it all in. After the last one, it is important to remember you don’t have to do everything this one event. Running around trying to get to see everything in the mart, play with every person you have always want to play with, attend every party, wear every outfit you have and fill every hole you have or come into contact with, if you have to do it all you likely won’t. No harm in trying to get it all in and sure is fun to try, but if you fall short of doing EVERYTHING, remember there is always next year.

 

Read full story · Comments { 1 }

Vulnerability

In The Power of Vulnerability, Dr. Brene Brown, a professor at the University of Houston College of Social Work, delivered one of the most powerful speech conclusions I have ever heard in a TEDtalk. Dr. Brown’s goal was to have people change their perspective on vulnerability from a source of pain to a source of power. She taught her audience to embrace vulnerability in order to live a fulfilled and fulfilling life. She then reinforced the message in her conclusion:

But there’s another way, and I leave you with this. This is what I have found; to let ourselves be seen, deeply seen; to love with our whole hearts, even though there’s no guarantee – and that’s really hard, and I can you as a parent, that’s excruciatingly difficult – to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when we’re wondering, “Can I have this much? Can I be this fierce about this? Just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, I’m just so grateful because to feel this vulnerable means I’m alive.” And the last, which I think is probably the most important, is to believe that we’re enough. Because when we work from a place I believe that says, “I’m enough,” then we stop screaming and start listening, we’re kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.

For those of you into kink, have you noticed that some of the most wonderful, kind, caring empathetic and expressive people in the world are those that we know in our kink community, even behind the facades of stoicism and control?

It was a few years ago that I went to my first kink event of any kind, Mid-Atlantic Leather (MAL). The event is held yearly in DC, and I have managed to go it numerous times. During that first trip to MAL I met so many people, a ton of people that I still stay in touch with today. There have been connections created at that one event that mean the world to me. I remember leaving  with a sense of wonder.

When I arrived, I expected to see crazy things. Hot guys doing hot things. I expected to see toys I never knew existed. People doing things I didn’t know where possible. I was expecting to be scared at times. I thought for sure that there was something dark and sinister about what was happening at these wild sex romp parties known as Leather Events.

And that all happened! Sure. But at the end of the event I came to a far different conclusion as to what was my biggest take-away.

I was in a completely vulnerable space during that event in many ways. I was there with my then boyfriend, who had been before and was showing me around. I needed him to lead me through, to introduce me to people, and to allow me the space I needed to assimilate at my pace. On the first night I wore a tail plug through my jeans to show off my puppy side, the next my full latex suit, not having ever worn that before in public.

I was out in the open. I was vulnerable. And I was not alone.

All the wild things I expected, sure they were there. I saw and did things I didn’t know happened, but really that didn’t make as much of a lasting impression as the image of so many people just being their authentic selves, sharing who they are in a shame free, balls-to-the-wall approach to kink.

Much of kink is about vulnerability. Submitting to another is just another way of saying you are vulnerable to another’s wishes and desires. Doming another is also a form of vulnerability, by exposing your inner desires and kinks onto another human being, as a top you often expose a great deal of your inner desires to another person.

So at that first MAL I was taking in how much people where so into being exposed and vulnerable about who they were. They were saying: I am a dog! I am a piss pig! I am a Daddy. I am a slave! This is who I am.

I learned that kinky people are vulnerable in some way by stepping out and declaring what they are passionate about, what they become fiercely attached to. Instead of listening to the inner fears that catastrophize what might happen, they instead say, “I am who I am, I am open and vulnerable about who I am, and I feel alive because of it.”

It is a kind gift to ourselves to be open like that. To romp on the floor in the middle of a big room with 20 others puppies and just be in the moment rather than afraid of what someone says. And to create that moment for someone else, by taking command of them and leading them to that opportunity, takes empathy and it means you care enough about the other to take them there.

Sure I saw and did things that were kinky as hell and had a grand time, but all these years later I still remember what I walked away from that event with. I saw people that were at their best, giving their best, open and honest and vulnerable. And those people were ones that I was proud to call my friends.

vulnerability TEDtalk

Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Episode 14 – Rubbout Recap

Sparky and Boy Trav got the chance to head to the 22nd Rubbout weekend up in Vancouver BC! It was a great time, and we wanted to share with you some of the adventures we had up there.

We do highly recommend you heading on over to Reid’s blog, as he is one of the organizers and can give the best review possible, which is exactly what he did!

We are also joined by one of the prize winners from the event, Brett.

Enjoy!

 

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • Bar night
  • Gear Swap
  • Pup Play thing
  • Rubber play party
  • Brunch

 

Read full story · Comments { 1 }

Episode 04 – Rub One Out at Rubbout!

In this latest podcast, Daddy Tony and Sparky talk with Reid, also known as RubberCanuck, the main organizer of Rubbout, an annual rubber kink event in Vancouver.

Rubbout is a Vancouver, BC grass-roots organization that has organized a party weekend since 1991. We are staffed entirely by unpaid volunteers who do it purely for the love of rubber. The event will be held on April 12th to the 14th, with a lot of fun activities, including a rubber bar night, gear swap & silent auction, a puppy play party, a rubber play party, and a rubber brunch.

We talk with Reid about the event, all that is going on at the event, where it started and how it has grown. Enjoy!

 

Show Notes

Discussion Topics

  •  Jinx Monsoon in Hedwig and the Angry Inch
  • Rubout
  • Puppy contest
  • Evolution of where he got into rubber
  • Psychological nature of kink
  • Emergence of the west coast events
  • Puppy contests

About Our Guest

Reid (aka Rubber Canuck) is an avid rubberman and the lead producer of the Rubbout Fetish Weekend held annually in Vancouver, BC, now in its 22nd year. He is the former Mr. West Coast Rubber 2010 and Mr. Rubber Calgary 2008. Reid enjoys doing workshops and demonstrations of rubber and bondage gear in the Pacific Northwest, and has done so in Vancouver, Seattle, and Portland over the past few years for various groups and events. He has been writing the Rubber Canuck blog since 2006 and has been an active member of Vancouver Men in Leather since 2008. He lives with his partner Paul and is also active with the gay running, swimming and cycling groups in Vancouver. Follow him on Twitter, or his blog.

 

Read full story · Comments { 0 }

MAL Condensed Report

  • Number of loads I had: 5
  • Number of orgasms I had: Lost track! (will explain in future posts why they are different)
  • Number of boys I made out with: 11 (no shit! It really was 11! Whew)
  • Number of hot guys spotted: They all wouldn’t sit still long enough to count
  • Number of puppies I kept thinking about because they weren’t there with me: 3 (you know who you are and missed each of you!)
  • Amount of money spent in the leather mart: Groan, don’t ask
  • Best new kink I tried: Hypno!
  • Best use of an old kink: Electro (finally maxed the box out on a boy, more on that later)
  • Number of brand new friends: 8 (how fucking awesome is that!)
  • Number of friends I didn’t get to spend enough time with: Way, way too many
  • Number of awesome Daddies who were hosts, guides, some times cooks,  always logistics coordinators, entertainers, and made for a perfect event: 2 (you know who you are!)
  • Funniest thing seen: A bellman taking out a luggage cart piled with the following; lots of luggage, a motorcross helmet, a leather motorcycle jacket, an industrial fan/blower, and a game of Twister. Must have been some night.
I know they can’t last forever, but damned if this wasn’t an awesome event. Thank you to everyone!
Note: There was a lot of consternation about the hotel and the rules, the new costs policies and some of the issues that came up. I know it wasn’t perfect for all, but it wasn’t that bad either. We have to realize that a change in venue was necessary, and there was some things that didn’t fire on all cylinders like we are used to. It was still a great event overall, and hopefully they improve it next time.
Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Wrapping up MAL

Hey there all

I am at my friend’s house, with a smaller group of us sitting around enjoying each other’s company after a weekend of craziness (some are still playing, some are sleeping it off!) so I decided to sneak away for a few moments to write down some thoughts about this weekend.

MAL has been special for me for some time. It was my first leather event of any type when I first started this journey. It was the first event I took my husband too and our first vacation together somewhere. And it was the first place I have met some truly wonderful people that I am proud to still call my friends. So MAL has been a series of firsts each time I have gone.

This trip was no different.

As I sit here thinking of the firsts that I experienced this weekend, it is kind of overwhelming, and all that I can say for right now is how amazing of a trip this has been. As soon as I post this I am going to start writing up one part, and I believe there will be some blog postings up on some of the other sites that I will be referencing :)

So can’t wait to organize these thoughts and share with everyone!

I also want to take a moment while riding this high to thank everyone. I got a lot of positive comments this weekends, from friends and strangers alike, about this blog and what I have shared. And I am excited to begin moving forward with the next evolution of the site that will be coming soon. Thank you all for continuing to follow and to contact me, truly a unique and wonderful experience!

Sparky

Read full story · Comments { 1 }