Tag Archives | Gay

Episode 232 – United Nations of Kinkdom

Description of Show

For this episode, we have a discussion with a group live from the UK on Skype during Manchester Leather Weekend!

Show Notes

  • How are the kink scenes different between the US and the UK?
  • Are there differences in the ways drug use is looked at and the drugs that are used?
  • Is Europe more “cosmopolitan” in general over the United States?
  • What about the use of PreP in the UK?
  • While the leather community and the rubber/latex community tend to be in the same group in the US, how does that differ in the UK?
  • Is the Sister community in the UK as much a crossover to kink as it is in the US?
  • What about the (non-racist) skinhead community in the UK and why is it more prevalent there than in the US?
  • Line dancing and lesbians in the UK??!!
  • Are women a big presence in the kink scene in the UK?
  • Does (country) size matter? DT Tony and Sparky talk about how the compactness of Europe makes a difference.

Guest

DT Tony (pictured with his partner DT Bri) lives in Chester, U.K., near Manchester and Liverpool. He is into BDSM, CP, face fucking, BC, gloves, oral, anal, CBT, TT, milking, dildos, electro, gags, leather, rubber, and so much more.

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Stainless Steel Ass Hook, just $139.95:

 

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Ungagged Episode 26: All Glory to Hypnotoad

Description of Show

This episode of Ungagged is all about hypnosis. We discuss in detail the stages of hypnosis, things to keep in mind before considering it, and resources to help you get started.

Show Notes

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature Front Buckle Gag.

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Episode 230 – Dental Damn

Description of Show

Let’s talk about news, news, and more news…including travel news from Daddy Tony.

 Show Notes

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Fleshlight Turbo Thrust, just $69.95:

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Episode 229 – Clique Schisms, Part 2

Description of Show

In the heat of the end of summer, we are here to update you on the craziness of the last week.

 Show Notes

  • In the News
    • Man lands modeling career thanks to his genetically rare different colored eyes seen on his mugshot posted on Twitter.
    • Kathy Griffin is no longer sorry about the famous photo of a fake severed head of Donald Trump.
    • The “crying nazi” speaks out about his mistreatment by the public.
    • Male sex workers get sometimes bizarre requests from their Johns.
  • We continue our discussion of a Telegram chat by a listener from Episode 229 – Clique Schisms, Part 1
    • We discussed this letter from the perspective of defending the boys’ point of view. Now we wanted to discuss the other side of the argument.
    • Using the term “sleazy” marks a view of older men hitting on younger men that shows a bias against older men
    • Age range preferences posted on profiles publicly is discriminatory and denegrating
    • Sparky and Tony discuss some of their experiences with older men and now as older men with younger boys.
    • Sometimes men, regardless of age, can be sleazy. Older men are sometimes painted with a broad brush.
    • Infighting among our community is counterproductive to our shared common goals.
    • We should do what we can to eliminate “Us vs. Them”

Join our Telegram chat!  TELEGRAM LINK HERE

 

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Blue Camo Kilt!

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Episode 228 – Clique Schisms, Part 1

Description of Show

In the heat of the end of summer, we are here to update you on the craziness of the last week.

 Show Notes

  • What Now? 
  • In the News
    • There was a death at a British kink festival in the woods, Flamefest. There were nipple tassles, witches, and hedonism.
    • Queer Cripple Andrew Gurza is building the group DisabilityAfterDark to open up about the intersection of disability and sex.
    • When introducing your pubescent children to sex, don’t for get anal intercourse. Don’t expect your school’s teachers to broach this topic appropriately.
  • With a Telegram chat message from a listener, “My leather club is having a midlife crisis?” we discuss cliques in the gay kink community.
    • Certain kinks and sub-communities draw certain age groups and personalities of people
    • Puppies are a great place for younger and less experienced kinksters to join, and some older guard groups  feel resentment for the loss of past ways boys would publicly join the leather community
    • Gender bending boys still see widespread ostracism from the leather community as well, even as attitudes improve
    • We must evolve for the future, we cannot hold onto purely past ways of doing things and expect them to carry into the future
    • Leather contests need to be brought into a modern day purpose
    • Certain traditions like collars are evolving and shouldn’t be used as a wedge to push new people out of the community.

Join our Telegram chat!  LINK TO TELEGRAM

Featured photo is Mr. Leatherman Toronto 2016 Jeremy Feist (left), Toronto Puppy 2016 “Pup Benny” (center), and International Person of Leather 2016/Ms. Leather Toronto 2016 Shahrazad (right) courtesy of the Black Eagle Kennel Klub.

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Striker Singlet!

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Ungagged Episode 25 – Mellow Yellow

Description of Show

The pups spend this show discussing things piss play related! And this little piggy went we-we-we all the way home!

Show Notes

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature Versatile Phone Holder.

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Episode 226 – Mentors, the Fresh Maker

Description of Show

The guys spend the show discussing mentorship: being one and how to find one.

 Show Notes

  • What Now? 
  • In the News
  • Mentorship can be an explicit or an implicit relationship
    • There is always the explicit Sir/boy type of relationship
    • On the other hand, some mentors do not even realize they are mentors
  • Has mentorship, over time, gone down because of the Internet?
  • Mentorship does not have to be just “showing someone the ropes.” Mentors can also impart more advanced knowledge to those who are not beginners.
  • Being a mentor is not about acting like a superior person. Authenticity is extremely important, not putting on airs.
  • Seeking a mentor:
    • Carefully consider who your mentors will be.
    • As said before, it does not have to be an explicitly-stated thing. Just being around that person is sufficient. In other words, no awkward, formal request to a potential mentor is necessary.
  • What do you look for in a mentor? Send us a message at info@nosafeword.com and let us talk about it.

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Jock Holster Bone, just $89.95:

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Episode 225 – We are back!

Description of Show

We are back! To avoid pulling something (ahem) we are going to hear from our listeners and provide feedback.

 Show Notes

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Locking Waist Belt, just $139.95:

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Ungagged Episode 24 – The More the Merrier

Description of Show

The pups spend this show discussing group sex, group dynamics, and how to make your group experiences the best they can.

Show Notes

  • In the News
  • Group Sex
    • The pups start out small and talk about threesomes.
      • Are two-as-a-team strictly pleasuring the other the best way to have a threesome?
      • A common reason against any group sex: too much going on and too much concentration needed.
    • Play parties
      • The mood of each party can be very different…so keep your expectations reasonable.
      • With lots of other scenes going on around you, it can be a problem if you are easily distracted by sound.
      • There is always going to be a better chance of drama when more people are involved, so be ready and be calm.
      • If it is a party of 8 or more people, then be sure the party has a separate, more social space.
      • Reasonable expectations, but have some expectations and have a plan of how to make that happen.
      • How do you deal with the guy who won’t take no for an answer? Be direct. Try to be polite, but say it in no uncertain terms..

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature Saddle Soap.

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Episode 218 – You, Dear Listener

Description of Show

The guys will delve into the listener correspondence pile and give thoughtful, reasonable responses. :)

 Show Notes

  • What Now?
    • It has been one year since the attack on the Pulse club in Orlando.
  • In the News and Letters!

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Ribbed Silicone Anal Trainer Kit for $57.95.

 

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Episode 215 – Foot in Mouth, Please

Description of Show

Today, at popular request, we talk about feet! Despite Sparky’s personal aversion, we brought on a veritable foot fetish expert, author James T. Medak, to talk to us about all things feet. This is also perhaps our most pun-filled episode to date!

Show Notes

  • In the News
  • Podophilia – Foot Worship!
    • Our guest was suggested by fan of the show, TiedFeetGuy.
    • Introverts and folks from repressive environments tend to more often into feet
    • Foot sucking and service can be an intense power play and show of total submission
    • Tickle torture is a common way tops can enjoy feet paired with bondage
    • Foot fetishism can be an obsession, a primal lust and need for worship. Foot pigs will pay for used smelly socks for example.
    • Foot fucking and foot jobs can be an intense sensation for both
    • It’s hard to introduce your foot fetish to a potential partner. Many get very self conscious about the social stigma.

About Our Guest

James T. Medak is the author of five best-selling erotic tomes, including Getting Off on the Wrong Foot, How to be a Foot Pig, and an anthology called The Best Foot Forward. When not working on his sixth novel, he maintains a popular Tumblr and continues to get into all sorts of kinky things with his boyfriend. He lives in Chicago.

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Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Triple Stripe Rubber Sox:

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Episode 214 – Cock Holster

Description of Show

In the age of Trump, it’s a great time to re-examine the idea of political correctness in the scope of all the crazy news lately.

 Show Notes

  • What Now? Stephen Colbert, long time champion of gay rights, is raked over the coals for a crude joke. Is “PC culture” starting to chase its own tail? Also: Conservatives erupt in faux outrage over gay rights to try to weaken their progressive opponent. Here’s Colbert’s joke in context. #notfirecolbert
  • In the News
    • According to a “study,” just thinking about sex makes you want to have it more! Amazing!
    • Man will serve at least 30 years in prison after beating to death a man who responded to an online ad for sex.
    • What leads people to kink? Are we born with our twisted desires? Thought for the nerds: Are kinksters a Protected Class under the Civil Rights Act of 1964? Lets check back in 10 years.
    • Dolphins have kinky sex. And scientists are paid to watch. Hawt!
    • The drunker a straight guy is, the more likely he’ll find a guy hot.

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Thick-Walled Cock Cylinder:

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Episode 213 – Savage on Consent

Description of Show

Dan Savage returns to the podcast as a guest, and we talk about consent.

 Show Notes

  • What Now? Dan presents it this week, and mentions three organizations that really could use our donations: ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and the International Refugee Assistance Project.
  • In the News: Sadly, stealthing is the newest, dangerous sex trend…for straight people.
  • We receive a letter asking for advice from Dan about a violation of consent from a prominent member of their local kink community.
  • The discussion moves into consent in general.
    • Having “the talk” before going in. A too-long talk can make the scene less passionate.
    • How you give “the talk.” It can be given in a reassuring, positive, and inclusive way.
    • Practice makes perfect…with the same person. You will read each other more readily without having to vocalize things, and trust between the two grows with each new experience with each other.
    • Consent given during a sexual experience that was previously out-of-bounds…not to be taken lightly.
    • Straight folks new to kink may be at a slight disadvantage compared to the gay male community…since gay men tend to first ask “what are you into?” since there is not one activity assumed to be part of gay sex.
    • Sometimes, consent given even well-before a scene could still be a negative time, but the consolation prize is that the person who gave the consent learned what they did not like.
    • Finally, if you are on the extreme side of kink activities, maybe an e-mail or text exchange stating what is consented to is a good idea.

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Padded Scream Mitts:

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About Our Guest

Dan Savage is a sex advice columnist, activist, author, and podcaster from Seattle. Listen to his podcast The Savage Lovecast and read his writing on The Stranger at The Savage Love and SLOG.

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Ungagged Episode 22 – The Best Played Plans

Description of Show

The best play scenes involve planning, but too much can ruin spontaneity. In this episode of Ungagged, the puppies talk about how that balance can be achieved without thinking you are in a business meeting while you play.

Show Notes

  • In the News
  • Making Play Scenes Hot but Not Scripted
    • Even if it seems overkill, making a full itinerary can still be very helpful, especially for newer subs.
    • Scenes involving VR can be especially fun, but it really involves a lot of planning and setup since you really do not want to fiddle with it during the scene.
    • Having a good electro-stim scene also involves a lot of planning….namely seeing what the limits are for each participant beforehand to avoid boredom or too much pain.
    • Each participant also should plan ahead for what their bodies will be doing during the scene.
      • If you will be bottoming, then you want to be sure you are clean down there.
      • If you will be in a particular position for any length of time, then you should be sure that your body and your muscles are fit enough to stay in that position.
    • The Golden Rule does not always apply: The dom may want to put their assumptions away on what will feel good to the sub and ask a lot of questions to the sub on what feels good and what does not.
    • The Boy Scout Rule: Be prepared! Everything will not work during a scene, so have some alternatives prepared to substitute in just in case something breaks or something is not feeling good to a participant.
    • Home Field Advantage: Planning and executing a scene goes a lot easier when you are familiar with the space you are playing in. The dom in a scene playing at home will be better prepared for the unexpected since they know where everything is.
    • If you are planning a scene in a place that is not the home of a participant, then pack well! Have everything you need in your “bag of tricks” and know where everything is in your bag for quick access.

Sponsor

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Leather Head Cushion.

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